| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: not sure how to start and is not good and I know it but what's done is done and now I'm stuck. I started seeing this married guy at work and having intimate relationship with him at work only. This means only in the half hour of lunch being intimate with him then we never saw each other any where else and he never asked that we see each other any where else. I know that is not good, that I did or do something really bad. Anyway, this has been happening over 2 years now, same situation, no change. But I do know and I am very sure that he's seeing this other girl that used to work here, that relationship started the same way as mine, but they would see each other somewhere else also, Im pretty sure the relationship was more meaningful to him than the relationship with me. I have kids and she is young and single and lives by herself. He goes to see her there. Anyway, he still wants to continue with me and tells me there's nothing going on with her, that that's done with and that he doesn't want ther because she lied to him and was going out with some other guy. Anyway somehow I fell in love with this guy and I can't refuse to see him whenever he wants me to. How do I refuse him, how do I become that strong? I think i am in love with him. :(
View related questions:
at work, fell in love, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wanted to give you an update. This guy has found yet another girl at work to have sex with. I haven't done anything with him since my last update. But this is what he has done now. This new girl is also going out with his friend. They work very close together. I know it is a fact and he denies it. I didn't ask him, he sent me a message and told me. And he still denies the previous girl. But I feel stronger now and I'm trying to meet other guys. That's a different question that follows this one. This guy is craaazzzyyy. I can't believe he is now having sex with his friend's girl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to hear what a male reader has to say. Can a male reader please tell me what this guy is thinking. Does he only want me for sex or is it friendship that he wants. Wants? We work very close in the same dept and I've told him to leave me alone and he won't he keeps on texting me all his problems. I don't understand. Should I try to not talk to him and block him and see what he does? Male reader do you have any idea what's on his mind?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Let me try to understand this affair - this man has been having sex with you, his other gf and his wife. 3 women wow. You end it, his other gf cheats on him and he comes running back to you for understanding and comfort. Now that he is back in your life it is only a matter of time before he is bet your legs. If you think otherwise you are delusional. Have you given a thought about HIS WIFE? He is MARRIED. Need I say more.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate - I don't do this with him anymore. Since about a month ago. His other girlfriend has left him for another guy and he is heart broken. I am the first one he contacted as soon as he found his other girlfriend in her appartment with the other guy. He has been crying to me and won't leave me alone. I don't know what my problem is I want to help him and I am there even though I know I'm not supposed to. He has changed his phone number so that that other girl won't contact him. He has gotten close to me again but I told him that I could not continue just having sex with him. I don't know what his feelings are towards me. He confuses me so much. So far he's kept his word not to ask me for sex.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody, for all your suggestions. I really appreciate it and will take into consideration everything that you've said. I will try my best to get over it and leave him somehow.
...............................
A
female
reader, Freedomatlast  +, writes (14 January 2010):
By acknowledging your weakness shows your strength. I'm currently feeling your pain because I had to end a 13 year relationship with a married man. It's will be hard at first and best believe he will use every trick and line in the book to reel you back in. From experience I know that these men can be quite charming, not to mention they are great in bed but hold strong...Perhaps you can meet up with other co-workers or friends for lunch that way you won't go out with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, nelle2472002 +, writes (14 January 2010):
 no honey this should have stopped a long time ago. everyone makes mistakes, but this dude is using you for sex. if he had feelings for you like you do for him he would divorce his wife. married men who cheat are dogs and you should know this because he has a wife and he is seeing you!! doesnt make sense he just see's you at work..why would you lower yourself to these half hour sex meetings? an now your letting your feelings get into play, honey your setting yourself up for failure in the most let this man go home and get sex from his WIFE!!
...............................
A
female
reader, lioness32 +, writes (14 January 2010):
 Let me say that i know how you feel because i've been there.And it is true the longer it goes on the worst it hurts.He has no respect for you, he wont even see you outside of the workplace. And he has some nerve talking about the other girl lied to him, as if his wife knows he's cheating. Please get rid of him, as it will only end in pain and tears.Take care
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): Half an hour at lunch??!! He is using you for sex. That alone should make you angry enough to fall out of love with him, dump him & look about meeting single men who will lavish time and attention on you. He sounds dreadful and you know perfectly well that you can do much much better. You have the strength within you, yes you do, so harness it & do something different at lunchtime and ignore him. Also bear in mind that if you get caught at work, you could get the sack. Is he worth losing your job for, as well as your mind?? I think not. You are under 25 with a whole life ahead of you & if you were my daughter I think I would want to thwack you over the head with a blunt instrument (ok not literally but you know what I mean! I'm 48 & I have a daughter nearly your age & if she were doing this I would find a way to get some sense into her head, one way or another!). He sounds weak, petty, insecure & selfish. You are not in love with him. You are just in love with the idea of having something you can't have. Ask yourself what love is. Anyway love is not always enough. Surely love involves trust and shared values? This is just lust & some sort of misplaced affection. You may have a bit of insecurity which causes you to lose respect for yourself (I've been there when I was younger & counselling really helped) and he is just taking advantage. I hope you manage to be strong and forget about him and meet other men who are worth your time and efforts! Best.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): i quote from your post: 'Anyway, he still wants to continue with me and tells me there's nothing going on with her, that that's done with and that he doesn't want ther because she lied to him and was going out with some other guy'.
For goodness sake woman dump this loser now. Is he for real?? He is cheating on his wife, with more than one person and HE is put out because his other mistress lied to him and was going out with someone else. OH I am almost laughing out loud here. This man is pathetic me me me & a typical victim type who will no doubt blame you later down the line if he gets caught out. I can just hear him now, in advance, saying to his wife 'oh it was her, she wouldn't let go, I felt sorry for her, she was in love with me so I just kept going but it's you I love'.
This sort of man really is to be avoided at all costs. Find the strength, try new hobbies, join some dating sites even if only to make new friends. Go on holiday with a friend. But be strong. Don't be second best and let him have you for a fool because that is what he is doing. Think long and hard about why you are in love with him? What personal qualities does he have and is it really possible to be in love with someone who lies and cheats & then feels sorry for himself because one of the women he is cheating on his wife with, actually finds herself someone else. Sorry but married men have no right whatsoever to demand that their mistresses be faithful!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): )
.. i'm the female anon who answered you just now ... go to 13 January archive & read through all the answers to this question: 'I'm being harrassed by his wife! How do I get rid of this married man I had an affair with?' (& there's plenty more questions similar to this)
This question has 9 answers - newest was posted today
13 January 2010 (F) age 41-50 - I recently read an article in regards to a women in a relationship with a married man for 18 years and some of the comments were pretty harsh, understandable, but harsh. Like her, I too was in a long term relationship with a married man, 13 years. It's a little crazy because we ... (192 words
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): Ahh married men married men! You are young, he sounds like a dog & I hope you're using a condom ...... If you want an answer to your question, have a scroll down through the questions on here over the last 2 or 3 days & have a look at some of the 'how do i get over/get away from the married man i'm seeing' type questions and you will soon (hopfully) go off him like a shot. It always ends in misery and the longer it goes on the worse it gets, so be strong now & save yourself big time suffering further down the line! Good luck x
...............................
|
