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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I know a man who I beleive was abused as a child. I don't know him awfully well, and can only guess about this. Some of the effects seem to 'tie' in with his behaviour. (I have read a little about it) Mind you I could be well off the mark here, I do care about this person and would like to be friends with them. He is like a closed book and is very difficult to read. He does not open up about anything, and it is almost always difficult to know what to talk about with him. He tends to be more comfortable being around married women and perhaps finds single women a threat. (I am single.) I would like some advice on how I could approach this guy and if anyone has been in a similar position. Also if people can clarify the kind of impact child abuse can have on adult relationships, what are the signs etc that someone may have been subjected to this.Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007): What basis do you have that he thinks single women are a threat and that he may have been abused as a child other than he is not opening up to you?
Why do you want to be able to penetrate his armour if he is not interested in letting you in? What is it about emotionally unavailable men that attracts you?
Some signs that someone has been sexually abused as a child and have not yet come to terms with the abuse would be promiscuous behavior, which does not seem to apply to this gentleman.
He may just be a close book because either he is not interested in a closer relationship with you, or he is very reticent and shy and socially retarded....which do you think apples here, because there is very little information to go on except your perception of him and your description of a couple of behaviors that lead you to this conclusion, not nearly enough to help you out.
A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 He may or may not have been abused as a child, I was abused when I was young by my uncle right up untill I turned 13. I never had problem being around married or single people when I grew up. Out of all honesty I found it easier to point out in later relationships, who could be an abusive person. I think maybe the guy you know might have maybe been in a past relationships with some who may have cheated on him, or it could be that he might have been married before and he finds it more comfortable being around married people. Or if you don't know him to well at all to the point that you may just say hi when you walk by each other it could be that he just may not like you. In any case just obsreve the way he acts around everyone not stalking or anything lol just when you see him just observe how he acts. Then later if you find yourself around him then start out small talk about the weather or work or ask him if he had seem the new movie out and tell him that you either seen it or that you want to and say you haven't talked to anyone who has yet, if he talks back and I mean talks not just ya or no answers then keep it up. but if he just blows you off again then take it as he might not like you, khope that helps and keep me updated thankssweet
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