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How do I beat the fear of relocating?

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Question - (28 December 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I need advice about re-locating my whole life somewhere new! I am 43, single woman - divorced 5 years ago after a 10 year marriage. I don't have children and I have the kind of job that I can pretty much do anywhere. In some respects this kind of 'freedom' may sound ideal but it offers me little stability - no real anchor. My family is dysfunctional and members live scattered around.

Because I moved around a lot with my ex my friends are also dotted all over the UK too and I usually drive to see them. I desperately want to settle somewhere, to put down roots. I love small towns, markets, art and the countryside - but currently live in a horrible city suburb. I guess ultimately I want to get out of the rut I am in, live somewhere affordable for the long term but that offers me a great chance to make new friends and hopefully find love again.

Has anyone else made a move like this and changed their life for the better? I'm lacking confidence or courage not sure which (maybe both) and I have no idea how to do this and really need help or just some inspiration. Thank you x

View related questions: confidence, divorce, my ex

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (29 December 2015):

My sister felt the same as you, moving from Los Angeles to Hawaii at the age of 45. She always said it was the best decision she ever made. She came back to visit only once.

You are very fortunate to be in such a good position in your life...able to move to where you want and still have a career. What an opportunity! So many city dwellers would like to have this option but don't.

It's always good to have many chapters in the book of your life. It makes you much more interesting and happy. Being in a rut is no fun and boring.

Find a town, check out appropriate places for you to live, get rid of what you don't need, and move. Having made a couple of big moves before, I recommend living in areas popular with other young and single people. As a single person, you'll just make more friends this those types of places whereas you might be a misfit in a family-dominated community. Get involved with community groups so that you'll soon feel at home, have friends and, hopefully, find love again.

Hundreds of people reading this (OK, so this is Dear Cupid, it'll be in the thousands) would give nearly anything to be in your shoes. If you don't like where you move to, you can find another place or return to where you are now.

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2015):

As a mental health nurse .. its natural to be fearful of the unknown .. For someone who has moved around a lot .. your conscious is saying I need to settle and yet your fearful part the subconscious is saying .. what if I don't like it .. what then . But until we grasp it .. We will never know.

Make a plan.. get a map .. and when you have days off, go to the places you feel offer the best of all the things you want ..treat like an adventure .. look at houses that you could afford at the people in general ..are they welcoming ..etc this is going to be your home and nice neighbours esp villages can be tight knit ..so make sure that your going to welcoming member of the community.

This is your life and you won't know until you take the plunge . If this is what you really want .. then go for it .. keep in touch even if you want to message any of us .. We are here .

Take care x

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