| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend suggested me to improve my social skills. This weekend we went on a trip with some of his friends. Well, I'm not a wallflower per se, but I've never been that social. Anyway, I talked with them and had some fun. Although sometimes it happened that I said something and it was like no one listened.One of his friends realized and told him that maybe I've grown used to being "invisible". I was always a quiet child while my sister always strived to be the center of attention. And then in school I never had many friends, I had close friends, but few. Funny thing is... it even happens with my own family! Sometimes we'll be having lunch or dinner, and I'll start talking about something, and it's like nobody listened and then my dad or sister (it's usually them) will interrupt and start talking about something completely different, like I had never uttered a word to begin with, completely ignoring the fact that I started talking first.So, my boyfriend told me I need to be more social, because sometimes I start conversations about topics that nobody has a clue about, or that are well... boring. He said I'm too much of an intellectual and that I have to let go sometimes and be goofier. For instance that day they were talking about all these reality shows and celebrity scandals and well, that's just not really my kind of thing. He said that's not his kind of thing either, but that sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and be more trivial. That I should allow myself to be more trivial and watch more TV.The problem is, how do I do this? I don't really like TV a lot, most shows are crap and well, I've always been this quiet person. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes wish i was one of those "life of the party" girls who're just social butterflies with a lot of poise and a lot to talk about. Yeah even I feel I'm boring sometimes. Because sometimes people will try to make small talk with me and I just don't know how to answer. How can I be more social? I'm quite shy around people I don't know a lot, and constantly fear they'll think I'm dorky and boring. I never have much to talk about... what can I do? I admit I feel socially awkward sometimes. Like sometimes I have no idea what to do in social situations where other people are very skilled. Like at funerals (just an example), I never know how to act there. Or at parties where I only know a couple of people. Or even performing mundane activities like dealing with shopping clerks and such.Help me, I feel like I'm living under a rock!
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I can relate with a lot of the issues you spoke of, I feel akward in social situations with people, even people I know sometimes. I don't understand why people need to talk when there is nothing to say. I have been told" I'm mean" because I can't small talk well. It gets to me every now and again but it has been going on so long that I've kinda built up a tolerance for it. I'm still awkward in social situations but I don't care as much anymore.Perhaps you need to quit trying to be proper and nice and just tell yourself "Who gives a SHIT if these strangers or anyone else don't like me or my comments or lack of comments". I also don't think people really care much about what you are all about when they are to wrapped up in worrying about themselves.
|
