A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I ask this girl out at work?I'm a male nurse who works in a hospital, and there's this really cute medical resident who floats around the other units that I've been crushing hard on for like 4 months. She's rarely on my unit however, and the most I really get to see her is maybe once or twice a week. Over the past couple months we've had very brief conversations, mostly about our day, but she's really funny and sweet which is why I've probably developed such a massive crush on her.The problem is, I can't really gauge if she's interested in me at all or just being friendly because our workplace is like a war zone all the time and our encounters last 5 minutes at the most since both of us are so busy and preoccupied. I can't flirt with her because A) I really suck at flirting; B) whenever I see her we're always surrounded by patients and coworkers and it would be very inappropriate; and C) I get awfully nervous around her. I can never catch her alone, and I don't see her outside of work because our hours are staggered.I want to ask her out and get to know her better so bad, but I really freeze up around her. I'm usually funny and easygoing but the stress of my job combined with my nervousness around her makes me a huge mess. When I talk to her I have a hard time making her laugh because I'm so nervous, and sometimes I feel like I come off as boring to her. Plus I'm largely inexperienced with dating; I've never been on a date before...or asked for one either. I really like her, and I don't want to ruin my chances with her (if I even have any) by being foolish. Given all these things, what's the best way to approach this matter and ask her out on a date?PS I know all about the risks of asking out co-workers, but we see each other at work rarely enough that if things went sour between us nobody would really know, or care for that matter.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 June 2013):
Well, according to you, it's literally impossible to ask her out....
But, since I don't buy it (stop making excuses), I'll give you some advice: gather your balls, and ask her any way you can. Whisper to her if you have to. Confidence is a huge turn on for women, so asking her out when the moment isn't ideal shows a lot of it.
There's no reason you need to be sure she likes you either. She may not like you, but that's what dating is for. As long as she is somewhat attracted to you you'll probably be fine and have enough of a foundation to build on.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (5 June 2013):
Good gosh man, have some confidence in yourself - she will see it and like it. What I would do is since everything is so busy - Id say quickly - "Hey crazy day today. Why dont we grab a drink after work?"
If you want to find her alone for a second, you will.
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A
male
reader, Relationship.Chef +, writes (5 June 2013):
 Here's a question for you. What are you looking for? WHO are you looking for?Is this woman your ideal? Does she personify your perfect partner, or is this someone nice who's smiled at you, and you build a castle in the sky based upon that?If I were to tell you how to ask her out, it would still not help your insecurity, your lack of faith in yourself and your ideals, and certainly will do nothing to quantify who it is you're looking for.Perhaps you should ask yourself, "Am I the best I can be? If I were to ask someone out, will I offer them the best version of me?"Start there, won't you? You have a lot of background work to do, brother. Don't worry about the facade if the foundation is shaky.
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