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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I don't want to make a big deal out of this... and... thanx for your help :)I'm a private person and I don't use social networks. My husband doesn't use them either. Unlike me, he really hates them, I just do not like them.Recently a friend of ours has visited us and stayed for a few days. It turned out that she has taken a lot of photos. We didn't notice, because she kept "playing" with her phone most of the time.Anyway, without even asking us she posted them on her Instagram - I've just found out because a mutual friend texted me and mentioned it. I know that these days people find this kind of behavior normal, so I do not want to blow it out of proportion. How do I ask her to take the photos of us and our home off the Instagram and not sound angry? I am angry, truth be told, but I do not want to make a big deal out of this, because I know that for her this is normal. She is always on FB and whatever else there is. I know that me being angry is my problem, she is not responsible for how I feel. I just want to communicate that I would like her to know that we do not want her ever to post any photos of us. The last time we did this, the person who took the photos - my husband's cousin - found it shockingly offensive. And we were really nice about it. We said that we were glad that she liked staying with us and made a nice album of photos and that we would very much appreciate it if she could remove the photos of us from her FB page, because we do not use social networks and do not want to be on them. She, as I said, did not think we had the right to ask. That is how I learned that for some people this can be a real issue.Thank you for your advice!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 July 2019):
 Legally speaking, in general, pictures taken of a person needs conscent. Especially if they are to be poster online. You have every right to ask that they be taken down as it invades your right to privacy. I do the same. Im ok with pictures for personal albums in real life. Im not ok with pictures postes online without my conscent. Even though I am active on social media, it is my right to decide where my picture is being displayet. If they want to get offended then thats their problem.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (9 July 2019):
 OP, you have every right to be upset. I value my privacy and do not use social media because I don't want my life put on display. I would be incredibly upset if I friend took photos without my permission displaying my home/life! As the other aunts have stated, SHE is the one out of line and was thoughtless and rude to not ask your permission. I wouldn't be worried about if she gets upset when you ask her to take the photos down! She was out of line and she apologize to you, sweetie. Do not ASK her to tell them down. TELL her to take the photos down IMMEDIATELY. Just because she wants to share her life with the world doesn't mean she can assume that you want her to share YOUR life!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2019): Ask politely. Check and see if it is done; then ask again if it isn't. If they still refuse, file a complaint with website security and inform them that you've requested the pictures taken down; and the subscriber has failed to cooperate with your wishes.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (8 July 2019):
 You are being far too nice about this. I would be fuming in your place. How DARE she take photos of your home while taking advantage of your hospitality and then post them on social media without getting your agreement? She is out of order, regardless of whether SHE chooses to post her life on social media.
Why are you so worried about upsetting her? Just tell her what you have heard and ask her why she thought it was ok to do that to you? Tell her you would never have agreed to the pictures being made public if she had had the manners to ask you first. Then TELL her (not ASK her) to remove the pictures immediately as you do NOT wish them to be out there.
Some people are just so unbelievably rude.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 July 2019):
 She should have asked your permission to NOT only TAKE the pictures but post them too. That is just showing NO manners!
I would tell her that you have heard she has posted pictures of your home on Instagram and that you would prefer she removes them, you and your husband are private people and do not WANT pictures of your home anywhere on the Internet.
If she gets defensive, I wold bring up that you find it kind of RUDE of her to not even ASK before doing this.
If it HURT her "fragile" feelings, then that is on her. SHE is in the wrong here.
YOU have the RIGHT to privacy in your OWN home.
Remember that.!
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