A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married with four children and love my husband, but I fantisize about another man. My husband definitly still turns me on, but at times I can be sitting watching tv and dream of this other man doing things to me that my husband does not do. Is it wrong to imagine another man doing sexual things to me? I know my husband would not do these things, he is not very adventurous in bed. The thing is I get very excited when I think of this. Is this normal? Am I just bored in bed? How do I ask my husband, he does not like to discuss sex, to try some of these things with me? When we first met he complained about how his exwife always wanted to do things a certain way and that was it, I never have asked him to do things differently, but wish he would and this is what I am dreaming of.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Have you and your husband ever watched porn ? It is probably a bit difficult with 4 kids, but if you did watch it, you could say something like how you would like to have done to you what you see on the screen, and see what he does.
A
male
reader, gumbbo  +, writes (18 February 2009):
This man is very lucky that after your 4 kids you still prioritise sex. If his friends knew they'd probably be quite jealous. Also many people have affairs for this reason, but you are trying to deal with the issue the best way, so should be congratulated - you can't help your sexual desires but you can choose who you act them out with.Hey just tell him you want to spice up your sex life, book a weekend away in some gorgeous hotel for the two of you, then sex will be clearly on the agenda. This way you'll be away from kids and familiar surroundings and the subject will be a lot easier to address. Plus get some wine down you both and that will make it a lot easier.
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A
female
reader, Enya +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Hi there, dont despair...you clearly still love your husband very much, and it isnt uncommon for one or both involved to feel the way you do..Fantasies are healthy, and both men and women have them, and they are a way of us tapping into our most sexual wants and desires...I feel your husband isnt very confident when it comes to trying "something new" and he may have had his confidence knocked when he was with his ex wife...she may also have made him feel he wasnt "doing it" right..the most important thing to remember here is that there is no right or wrong way..only what pleases both..if your fantasies are relatively safe then why dont you take the lead.? he may need some gentle direction from you to achieve this, so dont be all comanding and demanding, but lead him and gently coax him, maybe dress a lttle provacatively and and reassure him that he will enjoy it as much as you. Guide him and make him feel that you want him, maybe even show him..you dont need to talk about it..but i can guarantee that he will talk about it afterwards and may even share his fantasies with you..Approaching it this way i feel is the best way and re-affirming your love for each other..Good luck and all the best Enya
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