| A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: So I want to have sex with my gf, and I don't know if she wants it or not. Both of us are 16, and we've been dating for a month and a half. and both of us are virgins. anyone got advice?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (19 January 2012):
Believe me when I say this is something you don't want to rush into. You are both really young and very early into your relationship. Sex really tends to complicate things and can be risky if you're not sure what you're doing.
That being said, this is something you definitely should talk about with her. Get a bearing of where she's at and what she thinks of sex. Instead of asking her to have sex, find out if she even wants to have sex.
Also, there is no shame in slow progress. With my first girlfriend, we started out with just making out, then slowly through the months we took things a little further each time. Its a great way to take things slow as well as keep things fresh in your relationship; like you're always learning something new about each other.
Good luck with everything and stay smart about this; its a big decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): Ask her if she would like to have sex with you.
Instead of asking her TO have sex with you.
They are completely different questions and the second question is more likely to lead to problems.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (19 January 2012):
Have protection ready. You are too young to be a parent. I don't think I can talk you out of having sex, other than just letting you know at your age you may not be ready.
That being said, I have never had sex with a woman whom I had to ask it from. I just started removing her clothing.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 January 2012):
 A month and a half is kinda soon, especially if both of you are virgins. Losing it, especially for a girl, is a once in a lifetime thing.
I'd say instead of starting the conversation with "i'm really interested in sex with you", you might want to feel her out intellectually to see how she feels about sex in general. She might be eager to lose it with you, but then again, she might be wanting to save herself until marriage. I'm guessing it's somewhere in-between. Having the conversation indirectly about sex will possibly avert the automatic awkwardness that being direct about you wanting sex with her will cause.
She could be scared about the whole idea of losing it. You have decisions about birth control too to talk about before becoming sexually active.
Either way, it's awesome that you're giving thought to this. So many couples initiate the subject in the heat of passion, having it become a risk that wasn't thought out and often regretted. This shows some maturity on your part.
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A
female
reader, abeytahemera19 +, writes (19 January 2012):
Dont pressure her into having sex with you if she denies too. I honestly think its not the right time give it a little bit of more time.
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