A
female
age
30-35,
*ueenofthegreen27
writes:Been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 months however we've known each other for a few years. Been really close lately he's spent time with my family and a few days at my house a couple times (at least) each week. However I've been really busy with finals and havent to see him much lately ( only one night a week padt 2 weeks) but told him in advance and that we would be able to spend more time together once they are over..well last night he asked me if I still liked him( I admit I can be shy in showing my emotions but I think I'm slowly getting much better). I told him I did and sorry about how busy I've been and that I definitely still want him. He said "thank you I just really needed to hear that i can be a little baby sometimes" Well I was feeling insecure myself as the last night I hung out with him I was a little stressed and cranky and thought I may have turned him off me....so (and I know I shouldn't have) I googled his profile name and saw he was active on a dating site saying he was single and looking for a relationship.I didn't confront him about the site and he has not been active since afrer I told him I still liked him and we could spend more time together buy I did confront him today and ask him if we are together and if he was looking for someone else and he said we were together and he was not looking for someone else. I told him I was not looking either which is true. I want to believe him and hope he was just using the site because maybe he thought I was losing interest. I actually do trust him and I have felt 100% confident with him for the last 4 months..very secure and never doubt that he wants me...I want to move on from this and not snoop or look online anymore and take his word, but I'm still a little worried. Should I confront him about the site? Thoughts on how he feels about the relationship? What us the best way to proceed?
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insecure, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Queenofthegreen27 +, writes (9 December 2015):
Queenofthegreen27 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou mean you feel that he may be lining someone up behind me if our relationship does not work out? Does it mean he is losing interest, or scared that I am losing interest?
Ok, I talked to a counselor today, and told her I am not ready to confront him, but I am planning on doing so. She said I will probably eventually have to for peace of mind. So I'll discuss it more with her next week.
As of now I will do everything I can to back off checking his activity times on the site, as it will do me no good on the relationship while I'm still deciding my if and when I should confront him. Thank you for your help.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 December 2015):
 He is still on a dating site because he has no faith that your relationship can continue. He can't stand being alone without anyone to lined up for next. He feels embarrassed that after he closes one account and believes he has a relationship, then he got it wrong and had to open another account with a different user name. People up there who recognize him would feel he's a loser and can't keep any dates.
Tell him you know he is still hidden in the dating site. You want to understand why he is doing this. After listening to him, you have to tell him even with his insecurity, fear of loneliness, etc it is still disrespectful to you because you are in a relationship and he's still in that phase of lining someone up just in case.
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A
female
reader, Queenofthegreen27 +, writes (8 December 2015):
Queenofthegreen27 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk no one has replied yet, well I hope someone does. After we talked about being exclusive he hid his profile. I know because he doesn't show in the searches but if you search his username he comes up. It means girls can't find him but he Can still search for them. It also says single looking for a relationship.
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