A
male
age
41-50,
*enny boy
writes:Hi all! There is a girl that lives near me, she’s a hairdresser and my dad is friends with her dad. As she’s local and I know her dad and brother abit, I added her on Facebook. The thing is, I’ve fancied her for a while but don’t know her enough top ask her out. Its strange, cause I don’t know her but feel really drawn to her- I have since I first saw her. She’s got a child which obviously doesn’t bother me. I’d really like to ask her out but would prefer to be subtle to save embarrassment. She’s 26 and I’m 31 next month by the way. So in my position, what would be the best way to subtly ask??Thanks,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): Just do it. Do something, ya know. If you have her number text her and invite her out to join you and your friends for a drink. Say you are in her hood and was wondering if she wants to join. Ya know, that way if you are nervous keep it casual and friendly. If you are not sure how she feels that's what I would do. And that's how I like guys to approach me if I haven't yet thought of them in a romantic way. Baby steps. Cause if you put too much on the line too quickly you might scare her. That's happened to me. That's how my boyfriend did it. He kept it pretty casual. I found out later he was crazy about me. Had he been too forward I probably would have been scared off. Instead he called and found out what I was up to that night. He told me he was going to be in the same area. We met up casually. He was with his friends, I was with mine. We kept meeting up casually, always among friends. He became friends with my friends. They would show up at my work (at the time I was a waitress at a bar). We would all hang out afterwards. Eventually he asked me out just the two of us. If you don't have her number facebook her and invite her to something casual, a party, a bar where you are going to be with your friends. Something really casual. Cause that way the pressure is off and you all can enjoy yourselves without it being awkward. And go from there. Good luck!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Nope not right at all… sometimes I don’t reply to facebook messages that don’t ask specific things and sometimes I don’t get them all that quickly if I don’t’ log in and check for them.
Stop OVERTHINKING this…she’s not a magical being… she sits down to potty just like every other person…. Just say… ‘hey you are interesting, I’d like to spend some time talking to you” but don’t make it a big huge Saturday night date…. Coffee… Sunday afternoon…. Or Brunch… Brunch always works…
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 March 2012):
why to you have to subtly ask?
how about you contact her via phone (message her on facebook if you must get the number) and say... hey wanna go get some coffee or something and get to know each other better?
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A
male
reader, benny boy +, writes (26 March 2012):
benny boy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, would it look strange if I messaged her on Facebook with me not knowing her?? I was thinking about saying something random to see if she replies first, then send one casually asking her out. What would you put in the message?
And am I right in thinking that if she doesnt reply to the 1st random message saying something like 'hey, how are you doing?', that means 9 times out of 10 that she isnt interested..
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A
male
reader, benny boy +, writes (26 March 2012):
benny boy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think it'd seem weired/ strange if I sent her a message on Facebook if we hardly even know eachother?? What would you put in the message??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): Just ask her, not for a date type thing - just to go for a walk and lunch somewhere at the weekend, in the daytime. Get to know her better. If you make it casual, just say weathers good nice to be outdoors..
OR get your Dad to do a BBQ and ask her folks and her..
You can private message her on FB if you don't have her number.
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Hiyaaaa,You added her on facebook! Post a message saying hiya is your dad _____ (whatever her dad's name is) and you know on go from there. At least you have something to talk about, something to start the conversation off.The key thing to asking a girl out is that girls like it if you really put in the effort and thought to it, even if it turns out to be a disaster at least you went through all the effort to ask her out. Obviously minimal embarassment is always the best so you could find out what she likes by talking to her on facebook and found out a common interest like movies or what kinda movies do you like and if she likes a one that you like ask her out on a date to watch ______. Honestly its not that hard, women appreciate honestly and really value an honest guy but you should start to get to know her first like keep in touch with her, keep facebooking and next thing you know ask her out. Always face to face by the way, always ask a girl out face to face, on facebook it's not special, you wanna make a good first impression! Hope my advice helps!You can do it and if you keep on talking to her on facebook you'll get yourself a date in no time! :DGood luck!Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
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