A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do i ask him if we are in a relationship without him feeling i am pressuring him.I have been dating this guy for a month now and we get on really well. we text everyday but sometimes when he feels awkward he will ignore me for days. we met up the other day and spoke loads about us and he really likes me and i really like him. he is very very shy but he put his arm around me which i took as a good sign for him lol.He then asked me about a guy i was talking to earlier in the night. so obviously he must be bothered by me. Before i went he passionately kissed me and it was amazing if im honest.I don't know how to ask him where we go from here without scaring him or coming on too strong.Any advice would be greatly appreciated xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): It has only been a month. I wouldn't ask him. I would wait for him to bring it up. It took my boyfriend about a month and a half of dating to ask me to be his girlfriend. He went out of town for a week and a half, was stuck without a phone the whole time, never called like he said he would, and freaked out cause he thought he had lost me. So when he got back he got in touch with me right away and immediately brought up the relationship "talk." Haha. Better than bringing it up or "pressuring" him often it is better to shake them up a bit. Maybe make him think that you are not as available. Be busy. His mind will go wild with all kinds of scenarios. When a guy thinks he might lose you they always step it up a notch. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): I know how you feel, I was at the same point a few months ago. I told the guy I was seeing that I really liked spending time with him, that we were similar and very compatible, and I wanted to be his girlfriend. He said yes without hesitation and we've been together ever since. The point is: beat around the bush a little, and make it a subtle question or else he may think you're aggressive and coming on way to strong. Good luck!!
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 From my experience with my girlfriend, I did it in a smooth way that didn't seem like a trap^^ or a way that was kinda demanding... I said it in a simple way that got the point across that I liked her and wanted to be in a relationship with her....
Heres how it went down (in person, at school):
LEGEND:
:) means she smiled at the time
(L) means she was kinda "flirty" and blushing
:D means she was ecstatic
Me: "Hey!"
Her: "HEY!! Whats up?"
Me: "Ohh, just chilling, you?"
Her: "oh nm nm :)"
Me: "so i was wondering... are we officially dating or not?, i really want to be your boyfriend! :)"
Her: "yes we are!(L):D, and i want to be your girlfriend!(L):D)"
Me: "THATS GREAT(L):D"
^^^Very simple, very sweet, and right to the damn point :)^^^
You should do something similar, it will show that you are confident about how you feel (which is a really good thing), unless he beats you to it :P
CHEERS :D
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 It's all in how you phrase it. You need to come up with a way that doesn't sound like a trap, while remaining honest.
For instance, "Are we in a relationship?" sounds like a trap. He will immediately suspect there is a "wrong" answer, and that will put pressure on him.
"I'd like to be your girlfriend, if you're willing," would take most of the pressure off him, but it could imply you're willing to just casually date. If that's true, great; if not, it's a dishonest way of asking.
First, decide ahead of time if you're willing to just be casual, or if you will only accept an exclusive relationship. Wait for a time when you're both comfortable and alone together, tell him you think he's great and want to be his girlfriend. Give him a little time to figure out that it's not a trap, and that you're not testing him or looking for an argument, but once he's clear that you're being sincere, watch his reaction. If he is against it, or hesitates too much, you'll have to accept that it's either casual, or you have to move on. If he's for it, great! Commence making out.
Good luck.
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