A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and I have been dating close to a year and are happy together. Like all couples we have our fights and problems, but we get along well and we definitely see this as having future potential.The problem is the quintessential friends issue. I have been fairly unsuccessful at having him hang out with my friends in the past, and as of late I have been seeing quite a bit of his pals. I don't mind that too much but he has basically two groups of friends. One, his high school fiends are cool and rather mature, but i see them less than his college friends who, well, are the complete opposite. One group is happy to have us both present, and the other is well less enthusiastic. They are also rather cold to me and make me feel very unwelcome around them. i have tried to avoid hanging out with them because i do not want him to choose but he is quite adamant to see us all together. I usually am quite bored then and fall asleep because I can't say or do anything. some knew his ex, which makes things difficult, and all have been traditionally cold to new significant others in that infiltrate their group of friends.to make matters worse, one of his friends is married to this girl who was well considered to be among the most insane of our small college. she successfully alienated all girls as friends because of her jealousy that they would date her friends, and well, my guy is one of her two last friends (and her husband's great friend). so, it really caused a problem when she told him that she thought i was not good enough for him. he defended me, but i found out last night that they are still friends, which really bothered me, although i am not sure why...how do i approach this without making it a huge deal?
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female
reader, MinnieM  +, writes (31 October 2009):
Why have you been fairly unsuccessful at having him hang out with your friends in the past, yet he is quite adamant to see us all together with his friends? Is this a one sided relationship? Let him know that your uncomfortable, if he was taking your feelings into consideration he wouldn't ask you to be uncomfortable, when he hangs out with his college friends you could hang out with yours if he's not keen on it?
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