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female
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*innia
writes: Help!I've fallen for my friend and neighbour. He's REALLY shy and I'm scared to just tell him how I feel in case I've got a couple of signals wrong, and frighten him off completely.How should I play this? And if I tell him, how should I phrase it?All ideas appreciated!
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reader, pops +, writes (22 October 2005):
INvite him over for coffee, or a drink, or maybe lunch. Maybe you can find an excuse around the house to ask him for his help fixing something. Then reward him with lunch and conversation. Ask him if he likes you. That is not a dangerous question. If he asks why you want to know, tell him, " Because I like you. But, I don't think I really know you very well. Would you like to go out to a movie, or dancing, ( or whatever is your favorite pastime with a man?) Keep it light, and just an offer to spend time with him. If he is really shy, he might never get around to asking you out. He probably doesn't dance, as shy men rarely do. That can be a reason to invite him over, so that you can teach him to dance. IN private where no one else will know about his incompetence in moving his feet. Once he becomes comfortable dancing with you, and talking to you about nothing important, he will learn to relax, and be comfortable with you. He might even get brave enough to invite you out some night. But, don't hold your breathe. If you want anything to happen, you will have to do the asking. Shyness is the result of a terrible self image, and low self esteem. He doesn't value himself, so he does not believe he has anything to offer anyone else. Find his hidden talents, and remind him of them. That is the way to get him to come out of his shell, and play with you.
A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (22 October 2005):
If he's your neighbour, on a sunny day, do some work in the garden and when you see him, start a conversation with him. After you get to know him a little then you tell him how you feel. Good luck to you!!!
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