A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in a bit of a difficult situation and would really appreciate any advice you people can offer I am in a fwb I thought we were together properly for a few months but he told me he didn't want a girlfriend so I evetually got my head around that and now it is just sex but I don't know how to ask him what will happen to us if one of us meets someone I met someone at the weekend on my sisters birthday night out he gets very jealous if I talk to another man and as we are not boyfriend and girlfriend I kissed a man a few months ago I didn't know he was in the same pub at the time then he started telling me I looked like I was really into that man I kissed and how I can't think much of him even though I do I think a lot of him so I'm scared to ask him how things will go if he or me meet someone how do you think I should word it so that I don't annoy him or make him jealous thank you
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 Don’t ask him. YOU tell him “I’ve met someone and I’m going to pursue a real relationship with him, no more settling for being a fuck buddy with you” He will get mad, he will protest, he may even lie and say that he’s changed his mind and wants a REAL relationship. IF you really want that with him, stop sleeping with him and let him COURT YOU.
He is FWB and he has NO RIGHTS to you. IF he gets jealous… oh well… his loss. He wanted FWB he has FWB with all the rights and privileges that go with it… EXACTLY NONE!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): I would stop being his FWB. It sounds as if he is just using you in away that is not really a FWB situation. I suspect you actually like him and being his FWB is a way to be with him. Stop. If he doesn't want to go out with you properly he can not be jealous if someone is interested in you. Don't give this guy another thought because he has been using you.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (4 May 2012):
FWB is an open ended arrangement where people see different people if they like, and there are no expectations on either party that a full on relationship will be on the cards.
Your fwb has a classic case of wanting to have his cake and eat it. He wants to be free and he wants you to himself.
FWB hurts women in the end almost always. So if you want a proper relationship with that man and he doesn't with you, just end your arrangement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): You owe him nothing, he knows he has you where he wants, available for sex when he feels like it and does not want to lose his fun to somebody who might want a relationship. That would mean he loses his free 'body'
You sound like you are way too emotionally involved with this FWB guy, to the extent he is ruining your chance to find a decent partner.Do not let him rule your life he is not worth it.
If he meets girls and dates them even has a relationship with one, he will not think of you, he will just vanish and stop contacting you as his needs will be met by the new girl.
You must do the same, you dont need to explain anything, FWBs are just sex and if you are holding out for him to change his mind its definately time to stop seeing him.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 May 2012):
 Your FWB doesn't have the right to be jealous. If he doesn't want a girlfriend, then he is disqualified from burdening you with his jealousy. You are each other's no-strings sex toy until you get bored and feel like doing someone else. You can kiss another guy if you feel like it. He can have sex with another girl if he feels like it.
FWB isn't a relationship, and you owe him nothing. If he's getting annoyed, drop him. If he's trying to control your life, you know where the door is so you can show him it.
Bottom line, FWB is not a relationship. Who gives a flying rat's ass what he thinks of what you do? If you have feelings for your FWB, best not to see him anymore and concentrate on your romantic future. This guy needs to know that you're going to do what you damn well please and he either shuts that piehole in his face, or he can end the FWB arrangement.
OP, do not, under any circumstances, continue this FWB arrangement in the hopes that he will change his mind about having a relationship, because that's not how things work. Some guys hold the possibility of love like a carrot to a woman who has feelings for them in order for her to keep giving him sex. Don't fall for that crap! I would suggest ditching your FWB. Doesn't matter what his reaction is.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 All you have to do is not contact your FWB guy for a while and he will get the point. You don't owe him any explanations and considerations. He is not interested in hearing your new conquest. If you are dating and want to be exclusive with your new date, I think it is appropriate to hold off casual sex so you can concentrate and get to know the new guy better. It's not good to get your feelings diluted between people. There is nothing you can do if he gets jealous and that is his problem only. After a while if you are still single you can contact your FWB again and see if he is still available.
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