A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over the fact my husband and I will never have sex again? It's been over a year now. To try and cut a long story short over a year ago I really hurt my husband's feelings. I was very rude and hurtful towards him. This wasn't the 1st time. I guess I took him for granted. Anyway about a year ago he decided enough was enough and left me. After a few months he decided to come back because he saw the change in me. Since then I've treated him with the love and respect he deserves. But the problem is that when I hurt him, his feeling for me changed. He says he loves me, but isn't in love with me. He wants to be as he wants us to stay together. He justs wants me to give him time for him to build his feeling back up. So I lay there everynight hoping tonights the night, but it never is. I cry myself to sleep everynight. I know I caused this and this serves me right. But I've paid the price. I just want us to be happy. Now I'm starting to feel this hell I'm in will be forever. What do I do to just learn to live with this? I don't want him to leave, but how do I deal with just being friends with the love of my life and accept that we'll sleep in the same bed from now on with no love making. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): That was a great point from Uncle Eddie.We would be able to help you better with the bigger picture.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Does he hug you or kiss you?Or he has stopped physical contact totally?
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Why didn't you say how you hurt him? You've accepted responsibility, that's good. I could give you a better answer if you gave more information about the things that you did to hurt him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Thats like writing your divorce settlement on your wedding day. In your minds eye you must envisage yourself entwinned in the throws of passion. Then that is what will happen because you will take small actions towards that goal some conscious some subconscious. Your mien will match your goal.
As you are thinking at the moment your visual picture is no sex will ever happen. Hence you mien makes that happen.
Bit like an athlete seeing himself crossing the line for gold.
Now the hurt.
Clearly he is wounded deep in his soul.
He will never reveal that to you. You will never enter that sacred place again.
I don't no what you said. But my guess is it would be belittling regarding is ability as a man.
Something along the lines your a wimp, crap in bed, not as good as Mr x.
Now you look upon him and see a man, but inside he feels as a child. However treat him as a man and you will heal the child.
Something along the lines 'you pick, I trust your judgment'
'You will sort it out i have every confidence'
Thanks for coming back it take real strength of character, i admire that.
rub across the shoulders, the strength bearing part of a man, don't kiss him on the forehead.
Let him lead.
Sorry thats all i've got
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): It's been over a year. It happened last November. I've been kind and loving as far as I know. I love him dearly. It really hurts. So you think there's a chance he'll want to make love again then? I hope so. But incase that never happens. How do I deal with this?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Crickey a year less a few months makes say 8 months. You hurt him enough for him to leave and it sounds like this happened more than once maybe over several years.
It's a bit like slimming, you but on weight over several years but hope to loose it all in a couple of months.
You will just have to be patient and treat him good instead of bad.
Good luck
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