A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, great, i thought i wouldn't come back ask for help or ask questions but truthfully i really need advice.This time it's over my health, i was diagnosed with a disorder years ago when i was only fifteen. I have taken notice this happens to me a lot, and it frustrates me i have no control over it, the anxiety. I know i should continue seeing a therapist but sometimes there isn't enough money.It's ridiculous really, everything has been going so well for me, i finally passed my exams to enter college, the person i really like finally added me on facebook after all that drama we went through of me getting deleted, for no reason too but i felt like the blame regardless. Nothing is going on with us anyways, we don't even speak but sometimes i think i'm more afraid of her because of everything that happened even though deep in my heart its normal to crush on someone, its human. is it because of the bad things that happened that i am reacting this way?I fear that something will go wrong.Sometimes i think it's my insecurity of not feeling accepted by my parents, i feel constantly paranoid that they will question me over whatever nonsense is bothering me, since i can't hide it, it's hard for me to. Can't trust them fully with any of my problems either they always take it to the next dramatic level. they freak when it comes to knowing i might have a crush on a girl because i am "confused." but then again i'm tired of pretending someone i'm not, i feel unhappy to fake my life to friends. It's really such a heavy guilt. Help im not sure what to do, my mind is out of control. what should i do?Note that the crush thing hasn't happened to me in this situations, many times before as well. I know its me and the times a person has actually liked me, i run away because i'm afraid. how do i accept myself?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for replying. I really wasn't sure enough if even the therapy was something i should consider. However i feel like even me inside tells me I'm not all that well, and hearing my mom nag me for everything or my dad, doesn't do me any better either. I end up feeling just as worse....
I know its easy for them to lose faith in me, they don't want me to take therapy, it is why they don't take me to one because i've been to them before they believe it's all in my head. Then again i never finished the therapy the way i should have. I feel like i have no support at this very moment. I don't even know how to approach my mom and ask her i think i need to do this, without her getting upset at me.
I love my family a lot though so i try, but nothing works after a few weeks that i have pushed through with strength i fall back to spot A again. I do all this for my family and all my sacrifices, but i feel like i'm not doing anything for myself.
I do apologize if my reply is so late.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Babes, you don't sound well at all, you sound very frightened and confused. You must find the money for the therapist, your parents must get enough money for you to continue to have help.You've done very, very well in managing to get your life back on track, passing your exams and going to college at last. I can just imagine how hard it was for you to do that, even though your anxiety was probably telling you not to bother.The reason why I want you to go back to the therapist, is your not able to feel comfortable with social interaction and normal emotions. Your fear levels are high, you distrust people and you think the worst. Your words are a bit scrambled. You need to keep seeing your therapist so you can keep everything in the right perspective. At the moment, your not able to judge things properly, and things like a simple "crush" or just being truthful with the people who care about you is difficult to manage right now.Yep, I worried about you, your thoughts are running really fast and your seeing danger everywhere. Please tell your parents to help you get money to go back to the doctors.I wish you well. Don't worry, you just need to talk to someone properly about the things you are feeling.... Blessings babes, stay strong and stay calm, life is long and you have strengths and abilities that will help to protect you from harm.. :)
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