A
female
age
36-40,
*tinak
writes:My ex and I decided to try it out again..only to fail. I thought we were doing good,but apparently, he didn't think the same. He had been telling me he loved me, and wanted us to work out, and then the next day, he dumps me again...I found out that TWO days later, he had been making out with a girl at some party...I was devastated...Pictures started going up of him and this new girl hanging out, and I couldn't take it, so I erased him from Facebook..I don't know if this is a rebound or not, but I heard this girl is a big sleazebag, so I feel bad for him..She posted a picture the other day of this celebrity that my ex looks exactly like, everyone used to tell him...She put "The things I would do to him.." Uh, this makes me think that they are already doing stuff and it makes me sick to my stomach!!! How do guys move on so fast?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I am sorry that you are hurting. But not all men "move on so fast", when I broke up with my first girlfriend I didn't date anyone for 4 years and was depressed and despondent. I blamed her for everything first and then blamed myself for everything. Truth is, no one was to blame, we were just no compatible. If I had stayed with her I'm sure I would have been as miserable or more so.
Eventually I got over it and moved on but I hurt badly.
It's 20+ years later and I do think about her from time to time, it doesn't really hurt anymore since I am married to a woman I love and have 2 children with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): q1605 is right, he didn't care for you from the beginning. A guy who really loved you first off wouldn't have dumped you and secondly if you had broken up, he wouldn't have been able to move on so fast, he would have been upset and depressed (that is not just a girl thing). He just didn't care about you.
These kinds of petty, childish behaviors are useless, their lowly and they are going to restrain you from being so much more in life. It sounds like he and the group he hangs with are just really pathetic. People who just don't care about other people's feelings, who just walk all over others like its no big deal, like its some big feat in their small lives. I mean at 20-21, I understand you are young but you are not little kids. If that's the behavior they need to resort to to feel "good" about themselves, like "big shots" then I can assure it is because they have absolutely NOTHING going for them so they have to resort to this behavior to feel like something, like anything in their meaningless lives. These are not the people you want to be around. These are the types that Hollywood makes fun of in movies where karma always returns in ten years, they will be balding, unhappy with beer guts in some sh*tty marriage.
You are in your prime. Focus on YOU. There are kids your age RIGHT THIS MINUTE, who are travelling the world, seeing the most amazing sights, getting the most amazing education, doing awesome internships in tv and whatever dreams they are pursuing, being around the most amazing MEN (who are probably not only ten times better looking and smarter and wealthier than this creep you are worrying about who isn't worth one second of your thoughts). There are kids right now laughing hysterically with their friends in some foreign country.
You are so much bigger than this pathetic little group of kids who spend their time using each other to hurt other people. I mean with so much beauty and opportunity in the world, you really want to waste your energy on this pettiness? This lowliness? Kids who, judging by their behavior, probably are the offspring of Jerry Springer veterans...You are bigger and better than this. Just ignore them. Get out of that town. There is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE. Get yourself out of this pettiness so that you can go out and see it for yourself!
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 The typical guy will be over the relationship before he even dumps you because he has gone through all those phases will keeping the sexual part of the relationship going. It still takes guys time to move on and if I'm wrong then I must have the sweetest bunch of guy friends but I'm pretty sure that they are just average. It is terrible to say but for the last month or two atleast he didn't really love you. I hate to say that but it is the truth and now atleast you can move on because he will never be right for you.
Also he probably has no feelings for these other girls, right now he's just thinking with his lower half. Try to move on quick and find a guy who will love you the way you deserve. A guy like that is out there.
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