A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is probably a stupid question, but how in god's name do guys even meet women, let alone become friends, partners etc.I see thousands of couples ever day, and I am always thinking, how did they meet..I'm not counting work, where I meet women occasionally, howvere they are always (and I mean always), married or already attached.As you can probably guess I am a single guy, have been for 23 years (I'm 50), and have never even come close to having a girlfriend in that time (I had a few prior to that). I keep reasonable in shape, and am fit and healthy, and have a reasonable income.In my daily life, which consists of going to work, maybe eating out (alone I might add), then going home, before repeating the same process each week day. Weekends consist mainly of pursuing my own interests, which usually consist of shopping (or looking), internet surfing, going to the beach in the summer.Note I dont like going to noisy crowded pubs and I suspect thats where a majority of them hook up..Nor am I interested in looking for someone Online.This is a complete mystery to me, and Im sure Im not the only one.Thanks for your insight into this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2014): Thanks everyone for your great answers, it looks like I definitely need to try a few different things, as its obvious normal daily life is not the answer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2014): I met my husband through a friend in Highschool, when I was 15, lost touch and reconnected 5 years later and weve been togetger ever since the day we reconnected. It will be 6 yrs in April. I agree school is a great way to meet ppl, that or hobbies if you have them :)
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (7 December 2014):
I've met many girls through friends. Probably most of them. I was never "hooked up" but we would just hit it off.
I've met girls at school, probably the best place in the world to meet a woman, possibly even at your age. I took a sewing class at a community college recently and, had I not been married, I would have had multiple opportunities.
I've met girls just doing normal day to day things. Something sparks a conversation and you can tell there's chemistry.
I've met girls at work but never taken it beyond mutual attraction as I don't want to date where I work.
I agree that your lifestyle may be too isolated to meet people... Not just women, but anyone. Friends are a great resource and good for your health.
By the way, why not try a big change in life? Maybe you need to get out of your rut by relocating and sort of starting over.
Also, which is better, being single for the majority of your life, or sucking it up and trying out online dating? I've never done it either and I hope I never do (in married), but the perfect girl could be a few clicks away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2014): People meet anywhere, I know couples who have met in the supermarket, in a cafe, at work, on the internet but mostly through friends.
You sound like you really live quite a solitary life, and without realising you maybe have lost some of the subtle skills in gaining and holding onto simple friendships. I would first focus on extending your hobbies to those which include other people. You could join a walking group, sports clubs (rowing, tennis club etc...) anything which is out of your comfort some slightly, but you're interested in and is going to get you interacting with others. Dancing is always good, something like Salsa dancing, as most groups do not want people coming in pairs - because everyone takes a turn to dance with everyone and there is a real community spirit with people attending lots of events and lessons together as a group.
You're not going to meet people when you have such a mundane routine in the week; work, eat, repeat. Your weekends surfing the internet or shopping alone isn't going to get you connecting.
You could try internet dating, but I really think you need to re-discover some fun and passion for something in your life by getting out there and doing things you're not used to doing. That way you have much more interesting things to talk about if you do decide to try internet dating.
Start something with the intention of simply meeting new people, if you're going with the intention of finding a partner or someone to date it won't feel natural.
Good luck and best wishes.
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