A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is an older guy who really likes me and I really like him. We are waiting until I turn 18 of course. Unfortunately he is now unemployed, If things should work out, I am wondering what I'm really going to be up against if he still has no job. Does anyone here have an unemployed spouse or know of someone who does? How do you make it work? Are there any pros such as the spouse doing housework? Do you struggle often? Any stories and details are appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): Sadly, this man sounds as if he is very immature. He is possibly a sex offender, depending on just what things he is "waiting" on till you are 18. He seems to have persuaded you to devote some of your most formative young years to him. You could be out having fun with people your age. You will not get this time back, if you give it all to him. And it sounds as if he has nothing to offer. You are wise to be worried about how a longterm relationship with him would turn out. I hope your "second thoughts" win out in your internal debate. Good luck.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 HiIts hard for many and there are few jobs around so unemployment does cause problems in a relationship. There are so many people chasing each vacancy.I have seen friends who have been made redundant struggling to cope and prepared to do any job, but are still looking.The marriages are under huge pressure from debt and one couple about to lose their home.The attitude of a few to these friends is terrible too,like suddenly they are 2nd class.I just ask them round for dinner.I would not, at your age,be even considering moving in with this man.Not because he is lazy but because all the pressures would put a strain on you both immediately.But your not even ready yet to take the step for a long time.If unemployment is his chosen lifestyle on the other hand, then run a mile, period.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not plan on marrying him that quickly if it does work out. I would wait until I was out of college and secure myself with a job. This whole issue has me being questionable about the distant future. It was out of pure curiousity.
My plans for MYSELF are to get a career in interior design, live in an apartment, and travel by bus. If I do get my dream job, my income would not be much. I searched what the average earnings are and got 40,000 as a result.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): Yeah you're thinking too far ahead OP. OP it's nothing to do with your age really most adults don't even talk about the long term until they've been with a person for a few years. Best to just enjoy what you have now.
It depends on the reason he's unemployed OP. For most people unemployment is a choice. There are plenty of jobs out there, regardless of the current economic situation. The vast majority of people I know who are on the dole are only on it because they want to be, because they want a specific job and won't work certain jobs, like fast food places or supermarkets. Look OP if he's a couple of years unemployed by the time you and he perhaps decide that you want to move in together or something then there is no way that will work out well for you, unless of course you like being the sole bread winner and don't mind living with a guy who's lazy and does nothing all day because he can't afford to. Again though it depends on the kind of guy he is. When I was unemployed I was very active. I was still on the go doing things like volunteer work, hiking, mountain biking,sports etc. I was using my time for than just drinking beer with my buddies or staying at home playing computer games all day.
OP you just have to consider what kind of guy he is. If he's the type who'd rather sit at home all day drinking beers and playing computer games rather than work, then that will very quickly become very annoying. If he's an active guy who actually lives quite a good life then it might not be so bad. If he's the type of guy though that somehow thinks working in a supermarket or as a bus boy is beneath him then that too will be trouble. I worked a lot of crappy jobs in the past and if I had to I would have no problem working those again, having money is too important and not having any money to enjoy life is basically not a life at all.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 What's your hurry ? At 18 you'd be too young anyway to go live with anybody , including an affluent professional, and you want to go live with a broke unemployed guy ? You'd be unnecessarily courting trouble. And if he has no job, would he expect YOU to provide for him ?.... bad choice. Well, of course if a woman has a husband who unluckily loses his job, she must support him, you know, in reachness and in poorness as per wedding vows, but willingly go share your life , at eighteen, with someone who is not economically self sufficient ( forget about able to support YOU ) is unnecessary and reckless.
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