A
male
age
41-50,
*anitysoul28
writes:How did you guys/girls here meet your special someone, if you currently have someone, or did in the past? I've been attracted to many girls in my life and obsessed over a few, but never really pursued anyone. All of the romantic/dating/flirting/sexual experience I've had was between the ages of 18 and 20 (I'm 29 now) and I haven't tried since. I've never been pursued by or hit on by a woman and I've never had a 'girlfriend' who lived in the same state (my two connections were long distance over the Internet in 2001 and 2003). As I get older, I don't really have a circle of friends or family who can help me. I've completely lost touch with how deep connections, or even just fun fleeting connections are made and would like to hear some of your stories.
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male
reader, sanitysoul28 +, writes (24 April 2012):
sanitysoul28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI need to be less passive and more confident in what I have to offer potential mates as well as potential friends, employers and the like.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Well, before you know it a woman will pursue you so you wont have to face the dread. You might have to wait a while for that to happen though, unless it's already happening and you're just too inexperienced with flirting to pick up on it. My bet is: even if a woman is flirting with you you wont pick up on it as things are. You don't know what signs to look for, nor are you comfortable enough to dare find out if she actually is flirting or if you are just misreading signals.
But try to not worry so much. If you have a severe problem then see your doctor about it and get referred to a therapist. If you do not have severe anxiety then try to work on opening up to allowing people closer. You can't win if you don't place a bet.
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A
male
reader, sanitysoul28 +, writes (23 April 2012):
sanitysoul28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thank you for sharing! A graveyard! Good to be reminded that people can meet anywhere! I like hearing about other people's stories because I have none of my own. Hard to believe I'll be 30 soon and as far as this type of human experience I may as well be 12 or 13. It's so strange. I've been friends, acquaintances and co-workers with women my whole life and I'm always fully comfortable in their presence. But just thinking about trying to pursue one romantically or otherwise fills me with anxiety and dread before I've even left my chair!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Met my first husband in college at the Jewish Student Association for local colleges… interestingly enough he’s very much like my current partner so I might have been on to something back then..
Met husbands 2 and 3 online one through a message board one in a chat room… we see how well both of those worked out although the last marriage ended for many reasons…
Met current partner IRL at a gaming convention…. I really vote heavily for board gaming as a way to meet folks….
Gamers are open and accepting of all folks… and most of us are a bit quirky,,, the only problem is that it’s mostly men… most of the women are already partnered…. So it works for women but not men…
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 April 2012):
Lets see...
Nr. 1 I met at work.
Nr. 2 I met at a party (public, not private)
Nr. 3 I met online and was long distance
Nr. 4 I met in high school and we've remained friends up through the years and then got together.
Other flings, or short term relationship, I've met them at parties or through friends. You strike up a conversation like you normally will do whether you are flirting or not. And then if the person you talk to seem interested in the conversation, and you are interested in them too, you can start flirting.
Things to sneak into conversation when you are interested in someone is questions such as : do they have a girlfriend/boyfriend, do they live nearby or just visiting, do they work and where, what are their interests, and do they have children/want children. All these questions must be ask discretely! This mean that you must sneak them in casually, or ask someone who knows them instead of asking them directly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): My girlfriend was just a long time friend, she and a group of her friends just kind of started hanging out with my group more often, they cross dated etc. My girlfriend had a boyfriend in the very beginning when I first started to get to know her as friends and I was in the middle of a promiscuous phase of bedding any random girl I came into contact with. She was out of bounds though because she was only 16 and I was in my mid 20's plus I'd learned my lesson a long time ago about introducing sex to friendships.
After about of year of knowing each other I got out of my phase and just didn't date or do anything like that. She was still dating random boys her age and we just grew closer as friends as I advised her etc. A year after that then we just were as close as two friends could be she hadn't dated any guys in about 6 months and I still had no interest in women, but we talked and hinted a lot of hypotheticals, with a hell of a lot of sexual tension, and we just had a moment. I kissed her the usual goodbye kiss on the cheek after a hug but I was still holding her and for some reason couldn't let go, looking into her eyes it just felt right to kiss her and that was the moment we started out 7 year relationship. Still gives me goosebumps just thinking of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): Well, i met him at school and since then we never broke up.
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