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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My ex dumped me 6 months ago. It's pretty hard for me to move on and let go. We were together for 4 years. It was a nasty breakup. We talked a few times in the first few times, but it's mostly about me telling him how much he hurt me. Last month, I heard that he got his master degree from our mutual friend. I sent a text saying congratulations yet he said nothing. It would be something really important for us before we broke up because we planned to live together(we're in different countries)after he got his degree. Besides, I think breaking up is one thing and him getting the degree is another. I was very disappointed in him and I decided not to bother him and shed a tear for him anymore since then. I'm doing very well now. Whenever I'm sad, I tell myself never ever cry for an asshole like him. He's not worth it. I can tell that I'm moving on, but every day I wonder if he will apology to me someday. I know I'm dead to him and he doesn't care. He definitely has a girlfriend now because every time he finishes one relationship, he jumps into another right away. How could he completely forget someone who was with him for 4 years so fast? He even gave me commitment and we talked about marriage too. Did he ever miss me or think of me?
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broke up, different countries, has a girlfriend, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 November 2013):
 I am sure he thinks of you and misses the good times.
You can't live your life worrying about the past.
don't worry about if he will apologize to you... it's over and done and no he won't ever apologize but that's ok... we do not live our lives based on the good or bad behavior of others.
just chalk it up to lessons learned and move on when you are ready... worrying about him is a waste of your time and effort.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): People move on as quickly as expected.
They have to. We all have to.
You mentioned that you had a nasty break up with him.
The more that he will really recover fast from it. Because its so bad. Who wants to remember ugly experiences?
The bad break up have given him enough reason to better himself. He did. Now to your question if he ever thinks of you? We all remember people from our past. Of course he sometimes thinks of you.
But its all in the past. You cant turn back time. I suggest for you to move on, His no longer interested to be with you.
If you try hard to get his attention, even just a friend, results will just be very disappointing.
It will just make you more depress.
Some love are not meant to be. Try to absorb reality without bitterness. I'm sure one day you will find someone who will really love you the way you wanted to be loved.
Cheer up. Its not the end of the world. There's so many men out there. You can find a new one. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 November 2013):
I think it's much easier for the person doing the dumping to move on. Essentially, whilst you've been getting over him for 6 months, he was already over you when he dumped you, so he'd probably been working up to it.
I think now is the time for you to entirely let this man go. You can't do yourself any good texting him or anything like that, so the best thing to do now is to delete the number and wipe away the tears as best you can.
Will he apologise to you? No, and he shouldn't because he he wasn't as committed to you, he actually did you a huge favour in ending it. It would have ben far more cruel to have stayed with you, knowing that you were not the one for him. As hard as it is to believe, he did the right thing and has saved you more pain the long term. He doesn't need to apologise for that.
You're also not dead to him. He's just moved on. You're not dead at all. You're very much alive, and if you allow yourself time and don't think about this all the time, you'll be absolutely fine.
Did he forget you? No, of course not. I was cheated on by my first girlfriend, but I always remember that at one point I was happy with her, and it's the same for subsequent exes. They may not have been right for me (or I for them), but I have happy memories.
Remember then happy memories, and accept that it wasn't meant to be. But please don't be so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up mentally this way won't do you any good at all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 November 2013):
 People "move on" in different ways, some jump right into something new others take time to "heal" before they move on.
Either way, it doesn't mean he has forgotten the 4 years, it just means that he has a different method to work through the grief then you do. And who knows, maybe he "left" the relationship a lot earlier then you think, at least mentally. He could have been seeing the new girl a long time before he broke up with you, just not dating her, but getting to know her and when you two had a fight he figured better "jump ship". You just don't know.
You can guess til the cows come home and still not KNOW a thing about why he did/do the things he did/do. Don't waste time or energy trying to figure him out.
All you CAN do is work on you, and work on putting those 4 years in your past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): He dumped you but he tried to talk to you afterward, like friends. But all you do is talk about how much he hurt you because you're trying to manipulate an apology from him. Apologize for what though? For not staying with it and stringing you along? Would that be better than being dumped? I don't know what your fight was over, but it sounds like someone unforgivable was done. I don't think he really "moved on" if he's with rebound girl, he's just looking for waht you two had in the beginning. When he gets what he wants out of her, she'll be added to his list. He is sort of an asshole but he's also a commit-phobe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): Perhaps he just does not want to be alone.
The best thing you can do is move on, like you think you have. People all behave different after break ups, but this should be enough to tell you that you are better off without him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): Asking questions like this will not help you move on.Do not ask about him to any mutual friends and get rid of his contact details. He may have hurt you in the relationship but you are hurting yourself now by trying to understand why he's doing what he doing and trying to be nice to him and getting rejection.Yes, it hurts. Yes It's hard. But it is what it is. And you will be ok. It may not feel like it now, but you will get over him.The first step is to stop asking why / how / what / who / when about him after you broke up. It will only hurt you or hold you back from moving on. His achievements and his problems are not yours to share anymore. If they were, he would tell you about them himself. So don't waste your kindness on him. Don't use as an excuse to get close to him again.It's his loss that he's broken up with someone who has this much love to give. There are many men who want that love who will love you back!
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