A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I had a huge crush on a girl for about 5 years. I went to school with her in high school, but now that I'm out I haven't spoken to her in person just over text. Recently I found out she just got a boyfriend, at first I thought I'd be all heart broken and sob for weeks, but I'm not affected at all... I don't mind that she has a boyfriend for some reason. Did I lose interest or?
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crush, has a boyfriend, heartbroken, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 She was your crush at school. We all have those. I remember mine. But then you left school and that crush faded, you have moved on to another part off your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): You grew-up and out-grew the crush. That's all it was, just a crush. People confuse crushes with being in-love. You have to have reciprocity in order for love to stick. It's nothing but an infatuation when the other person is unaware of your feelings, or no actual connection has been made between two people.
She may have known of the crush, and may have liked you too. Neither of you acted on it, so you've both grown-up and moved on.
Liking someone from a distance without their knowledge is based on fantasy. The reason no action is taken on the part of the crusher, is not to disturb that fantasy. You're a man now, and you let go of the crush. In fact, you're happy for her. It shows your crush was healthy and you're a resilient guy! Your feeling is relief! You're free of the crush!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (28 January 2017):
 The fact that you are writing in, asking this question, makes me wonder if you are really just in denial and making yourself believe you don't care - because to acknowledge you do care would hurt too much?Yes, I could be waaaaaaaaay off the mark (it has been known!) but it's just my gut feeling on reading your post.If you are truly "not affected" - though I cannot understand why you would write in if you were truly untouched by this - then you can move on with your life.My own feeling on this is that this girl was someone you crushed about for years but were afraid to do anything about (you were either too shy or you were afraid she would turn you down). You probably fantasized for a long time about asking her out but couldn't take the first step. Now that she has a boyfriend (which, at that age, will probably be fairly short-lived), it has taken any decisions off the table for you and let you relax because she is "taken".If her current relationship finishes, and you still have feelings for this girl, be brave and ask her out. Obviously don't go wading in with declarations of years of hidden passion for her but ask her out for a coffee or to see of film, then see where things go from there. In the meantime, get out and meet other people, including girls. You never know who is out there waiting to meet a guy like YOU.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 January 2017):
 She was a crush, if you were wanting something more than to admire her from afar you would have done more than talk over text since school ended.
I think your heart had already acknowledged there was nothing there, you just needed your head to catch up.
Our emotions are interesting things aren't they? I'm glad you are not gutted and are able to view the situation as an interested spectator.
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