A
female
age
41-50,
*hatstartedoutasfriendship
writes:How close are you to your best friend's husband? My best friend is more like family than a friend. I am very good friends with her husband as well. NOTHING sexual or anything like that, but we do talk, text and hang out. I was just wondering how close are some of you to your best friend's spouse?
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 I'm close to my besty's hubby. We email - usually jokes and stuff, .... have great convo's about techy type stuff that goes over my friends/his wifes head, ... have gone down the street and stuff together, ... I'll chat to him on the phipne instead if my friend is out or busy, ...know details on each others sex lives (but these things are openly said with my friend present and said by all parties - usually to have a laugh about) ...and no biggy.
No one os attracted to anyone they shouldn't be, ...and tho some small minded twits have told my besty that she should watch out because I am after her hubby, she knows me better than they do and has said I could sleep in the same bed as her husband and she would not think anything of it coz she just knows nothing would be going on. And that would be absolutely spot on!
Likewise, my ex of nearly 2 decades used to sometimes go and sleep at my besty's house when her husband was away on business. Sometimes I was at home, sometimes away myself, ... and my besty would think he was sweet for staying over since he knows she gets nervous at night without her hubby around, ... I would glad that he was so good to my friend, ... and her hubby would be appreciative that he was looking out for her. Anything untoward never entered anyone's mind - coz there just was not /is not any interest on anyone's part but in being good friends to each other.
I think this sort of interaction and comfortable trust might be a rarity tho.
A
female
reader, whatstartedoutasfriendship +, writes (22 March 2010):
whatstartedoutasfriendship is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is very well aware of our friendship. She loves that we are so close. She knows how close we are and is fine with it. As a matter of fact, when we hang out together I usually ask her first and if she can't make it she suggets he go with me. I do not share every single communication we have with her, but she knows we do it and if she ever asked I would be more than happy to fill her in on the details. Like I said she is more family and he is like an in-law. I just wanted some opinions on how close others are to the BFF's spouse? Some weeks we talk/ text daily, others we go weeks/ months just seeing each other as a group. Nothing sexual or anything, but he is my best male friend and I don't want to read more into it than is really there.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (22 March 2010):
 I think the fact that you ask indicates that there is some question or concern about over stepping boundaries.
You have an obligation to your friend to maintain total integrity and loyalty. Anytime there are male/female friendships there are risks of attractions on someone's part... especially if someone's relationship gets rocky.
Its okay to be friends and text (in limited amounts) but there should NEVER be anything that you could not freely and openly disclose to his wife. And you should make sure that he is aware that you show her everything. You should also not share intimate or personal disclosures... save that for your female friend. Intimate sharing is bonding. Emotional intimacy interferes with the marriage bonding... it is temptation when it occurs outside the marriage.
My personal opinion is that although male/female friendship is good for some people... it is not worth the risk when you value the people and relationships involved.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Has someone got a problem with this friendship and that's why you're asking or is this just a curious thing?
I think if you find someone you get on with really well and no one involved in the situation has a problem then I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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