A
female
age
51-59,
*en100
writes:Hey everyone, just wondering if anyone has had experience worrying that their ex that just broke up with them has done it because they met someone else. Even though I know that I 'don't want to know', it's hard to not wonder and be a bit obsessive about it. It happened to me after my last relationship, my ex said no (of course) to the question 'is there someone else', then 2 days later I drove by his place (my siser's boyfriend had asked: 'are you sure there's not another girl?'), and there was a girl, with an overnight bag, etc...So hard to not believe that. We had been seeing eachother for a year and were well-matched. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't love me. Any advice? Other than getting on with my life, which I'm doing fairly well at so far (was only yesterday we broke up).
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 Think of it like watching a sad movie and the curtains came down and you shed a tear or two or maybe you have no more tears to shed. The END of the story and you move on with another happy movie.
After a while , you will know if it is because of a third party, but it won't matter anymore.
A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (9 February 2008):
Unfortunately this is a common event. The real question you should ask yourself is "What would I do if I knew the answer to this?" In most cases you would do nothing. As humans we seem to have this fascination with trying to understand all the reasons why we are hurting when what we should be concentrating on is identifying what we should be doing to heal.When we were small we were told by out parents to not pick at scabs and wounds from splinters or falling over. The reason is that if we leave these injuries alone they heal up better and with less scarring. I think it is also the same with emotional injuries. Of course in a world of complications like children and property this is not always so easy and so we end up taking more baggage into our next relationship than perhaps is good for us.I have had your experience so can empathise. Really though, if it is over, truly over, and you are not wondering "What if?" in hope of somehow fixing it, then you should let it rest and just concentrate on putting your own life back together. No two relationships are the same so do not let it put you off to love in the future either.All the best.
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