A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend have been asking me questions lately that makes me feel really bad. Well everyone knows most guys like a freak in the bed they can still take home to momma. Well I consider myself that. There was onne guys I was with in the past that really showed me some tricks on bed. I pride myself in what I can do and how my sex is bad. I dont give it up on the first date and only date one guy at a time as in exclusive.Our lst intercourse let's just say i went wild. Was riding him uncontrollably and backing it up. Since then its been questions like "What age were you disvirgined? How many boyfriends have you had? I didnt know you are this dirty or like to talk dirty or I thought you cannot handle me, you look too quiet or like a novice. He even think me having sex with 6 dudes since I started having sex since the age of 20 is too much for him. Talk about selfish.Now I hate myself for not being reserved and quiet...Isnt that what men want and then when you do it like a pro your reservations are questioned.This leads me to ask what does guys really want in bed and how do you go about it on bed without making your partner feel like you have been around the block? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): I want assurance that you are not a slut. I want you to tell me that you only feel that way with me only, and nobody else. I want you to tell me you are yourself surprised by your wildness, and its the first time, and it is with me, coz you feel so comfortable.
He doesn't care much about your past, he is just insecure... so comfort him.
Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the reader that ask what my BF's sexual histroy was? The answer is he is really the one that have been around the block back in college. He started haivng sex since 11yrs of age. I think his insecurities comes from having too many sexual partners and not trusting that any woman is really good in bed without being around. He talks about how he slandered church girls in college and they were the wildest. SO I think that is just how he thinks. And its so stupid. I am going to try just laying there and not showing that I am freaked out and see how he feels about that lol...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): I, myself, dont care about a pro or novice, just a woman whose sexual morals line up with mine. Thats it. I see a possible conflict here with that with him and you. He needs his insecurity fixed and you can help that by telling him the guys you were with previously are no longer in ur life anymore and that he is your only focus and the only guy you want to please emotionally and physically. As long as I knew a woman loved me and no other guy, I dont care about her past and would never wanna know it. In addition, pasts are best disclosed before feelings are developed as that can prevent jealousy issues from forming like they have here in a way. good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): He is handling his feelings wrong. He is treating you unfairly. But his core feelings are normal and understandable.
Not all men want an experienced skilled lover. Some men think the lesser experience is worth the lesser skills. (And before anyone cries "double standard" I suggest they ask the OP what her BF's sexual history is.)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): ***This leads me to ask what does guys really want in bed???
You!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): The number of men you've been with and the fact that you're good in bed are two different things. Start by figuring out which one really bothers him.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 March 2011):
 My view is very much like that of "Danielepew" and "Honeypie," in that it is really none of his business - and he can enjoy your charms or do without. Whatever transpired before he met you, or before his involvement, is simply something that is yours. A real man would accept that you enjoy the sex, and would do all he can think of to keep you satisfied.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (27 March 2011):
 So before answering your question, let me start by saying that sex IS a learned behavior and action. While the drive for sex is innate, we don't KNOW how to have sex until we actually start DOING it!
That being said, you HAD to have some experience in order to know what feels good to you and what you believe will feel good to your man. To question someone's abilities, in my opinion, is to question your own. What does it matter how many men you've been with or at what age you lost your virginity? it DOESN'T matter! What matters is that you love and respect HIM right now but he can't seem to get that. What he's focused on is who taught you what you know. And that's a shame.
It's a shame because he isn't recognizing that he has a woman that KNOWS her way around the bed - knows how to TAKE it as well as GIVE it. THAT makes for a great sexual partner. If I were you, I would stop being so "good" in bed - just sort of lay there and let him do all the work. When you're on top, don't give him the business - give him the "I'm-not-sure-how-to-ride-a-man" type of sex and see how he likes that. Then call him on it. Ask him straight up. Do you WANT a woman that knows how to get down in bed or do you WANT a sack of potatoes?
If it were ME, I'd be HAPPY my woman knows what she's doing! My current woman hasn't had sex in over 13 years! I'm expecting that things won't be THAT great - initially. But we're gonna learn together because we want to please each other - and that's what it's about. Pleasing your partner and receiving pleasure in return.
DO NOT feel bad for your wealth of sexual knowledge. It is NOT something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Be proud of your abilities.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Wow, I'm sorry but he is an ASS! I hope he kicks himself DAILY for the rest of his life!
Be who you are! Find a guy who will APPRICIATE you for you! I can't imagine any man not being SUPER THRILLED to share the bed with a woman, who truly knows how to let go an enjoy herself in bed.
Sorry, he sounds immature and insecure.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Sorry. I think your boyfriend is not very smart.
Of course you have to learn those things with somebody. He can either enjoy that, or not. Let's think of the alternative. Would he rather be with a statue?
I think you should tell him that his questions bother you, and that he can have you or let you go. If he stays with you, he will have to keep his thoughts to himself, if he has any.
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