A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my boyfriend. I am 19 and have a very high sex drive. He is 28 and doesn't. We've been together for a year now and it's driving me mad! Sometimes, he doesn't want sex at all and just does it to shut me up! I've tried everything, sexy lingerie, videos, toys etc, but then I get the opposite problem; its over too early! I'm just getting in the mood and he's done and wants to go to sleep! How can we work this out?
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male
reader, AvocadoMilkTea +, writes (14 July 2006):
 Another thing to think about is the other parts of your life. I find that sex gets a lot better when the other parts of our life gets better. Travelling together more, doing sports and other hobbies together, getting out with friends and family, arrange time together for non-sexual activities like cooking, renting a movie and cuddling, talk about various meaningful and silly topics, learn new things together, encourage each other to do their best to reach their goals, and so on and so forth.
A
male
reader, AvocadoMilkTea +, writes (14 July 2006):
A few things to look at here: 1) is he over-worked? 2) stressed? 3) loss of appetite - possibly from depression or worries, and/or 4) maybe sexy lingerie and videos aren't things that turn him on?
Another thing to consider is why you're with him. What was your initial and ongoing attraction towards him? The sex is quite important, so you may also have to consider that he isn't sexually compatible with you - now and possibly even in the long term.
I can only see this working out if you two are willing to communicate with each other. Ask him what he likes, what turns him on, and you/him can do something for things to last longer. You can always experiment - be more dominant sometimes, create teases, tie him up, ride him, and so on.
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