A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my partner are engaged and we have a 3 month old daughter together. We are best friends and generally very happy but I'm just not getting as hot for him in the bedroom as I used too. It's taking me an hour to climax and he can't get me wet at all so we need to have lots of lube. We just do it our bedroom because we have other relatives living in the house to be honest I'm a little bit bored... I shouldn't be horny with a little baby but my libido has come back with a vengeance but it's so boring we just start with me giving my OH oral then he touches my nipples then we do the on top position and I try to climax but it takes me forever then he finishes . I even asked my OH could he switch on some porn so I could get there but he got all offended the guys in porn are ugly I just want to watch the actual act of sex. I'm finding I have to think of having exciting sex with other people to orgasm. We are due to get married next year and I love him so much but I want to make sex more exciting whenever I suggest doing different things or what would he like to do he just says he's happy with how things are. How can we switch it up without denting his ego?
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male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (21 September 2013):
I can understand your situation, but i believe you shouldn't ever feel you have to be worried about offending your partner in the bedroom. I am human and i am male and yes i know i am not the best lover but like my other none sexual relationship with my girlfriend i find i have to work at it.Once we settled into our relationship and become monogamous we both agreed but i should say i agreed to allow my sweetheart to take the lead and bring and do things to spice up the romantic department. Not that i was a dumb ass but sometimes yes spicing up is needed. But i am and told her i wasn't sure how to go about it all and didn't want to end up in the dog house about wrong actions or intentions. She kind of lead the first charge if you want to use this horrible cliche. After that one i knew what was needed to be done and did small things and i wont be afraid to say i never thought i would do such a thing to my girlfriend. I will let your imagination work on my last statement. But she wasn't injured or hurt in any way. I guess after all this i found since i wasn't a real good person with my sexual side i was able to find a book or two on spicing up and sat my girlfriend down and said i wanted to show her a few pictures. Actually its a old old book but it was called the joy of sex. lots of pics and verbal description to compliment what was shown. So i sat her down and we had some wine and went through some of this book together. i admit it actually helped me open up and i was able to talk and describe some of what they suggested you do. I really believe your approach be the same, you decide you know your man the best. But communication is needed so both of you are on the same page. Good-luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): don't worry this happens after having a child. my wife was the same. but after 2 years she returned back to normal.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (20 September 2013):
Your problem isn't boredom, it's a boyfriend who could care less about your boredom. He'd rather you be unhappy than have his feeling hurt.
After awhile, most people get bored in the bedroom. Probably because humans were not monogamous, we lived in small groups and didn't have life partners. Apparently this would ensure that the men protected all of the children to some extent because there was a chance the child could be theirs.
What this means is that monogamy takes a little work. As suggested, if you're the one having trouble getting turned on, think of what would turn you on and be forward about it. Be as specific as you need to be. Yes, it'd be sexier if you didn't have to say anything, but you do, and soon enough you'll forget you had to tell him and you'll just be enjoying yourself more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2013): OP you're being too soft and flaky about this.
When my wife wants to try something new she just tells me she wants to try it, she doesn't suggest something or ask me what I'd like to do in that circumstance she'll just find something she wants to try, tells me and we do it.
It's not about ego here OP, as long as you steer away from saying boring or put any kind of blame on him.
Just find some things you'd like to try and tell him you want that.
OP you need to clarify what you mean when you say he can't make you wet. Do you mean he tries, gives you loads of foreplay and is just crap? Or are you saying there's no foreplay on his side?
Talk to him about this. Talk about it in a way that you want more adventure, don't intimate that things are bad but tell him you want some variety now.
Also consider going on a weekend away OP. Consider bringing toys, whips, role play, costumes etc.
There is literally nothing worse than boring sex, you may aswell just masturbate instead.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2013):
 Sounds like you have 2 major problems with sex. 1. not enough foreplay (since you don't seem to get wet at all) 2. a selfish boyfriend.
If he doesn't LIKE to watch porn while having sex, I can't say that I blame him. So instead of trying to add porn, TALK to him before you get started, tell him what you REALLY like for him to do and ASK him what he would like from you. Make it about PLEASING & ENJOYING each other, not just climax.
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