A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have the most amazing fiance who is a lovely man and is very good to my son from a previous relationship. We arent usually jealous people but for some reason we have both developed unhealthy obsessions with who else each other has slept with. He claims that he has not had sex before me, just oral sex, and I have trouble believing this and quiz him about it constantly. I don't even know why it matters to me so much. I mean, I have no right to judge even if he wasnt a virgin, as the conception of my son was not immaculate, but for some reason it does. He is just as bad, giving me the third degree about old flames. I know its all in the past and shouldnt be an issue for us, but it is. Its spoiling ab otherwise happy relationship which is a shame. How can we deal with this and how should I talk to him about it.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (2 January 2016):
I agree. The only hope for your relationship is for both of you to knock it off, and to stick to that agreement 100%.
Goodness, if my husband and I spent energy grilling one another over past experiences and partners we'd have time for nothing else. We'd starve to death in the process, lol.
Our past experiences helped shape us into the people we are today. Hell, I owe his previous partners a hearty thank you for training him so well so I didn't have to.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 January 2016):
 Your relationship can only continue IF you and he sit down and agree to a "truce".... wherein you BOTH agree that whatever happened in the past IS in the past.... and does not besmirch who the two of you are now.... AND cannot be changed.
Once you and he do that, then your relationship can proceed. IF you and he cannot get to that point, then you'll have to reconcile that this relationship has "run its course", and you and he must part and go separate ways....
Good luck...
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