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How can we mentally and physically put her at ease during sex?

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Question - (27 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend and i attempted sex for the first time with each other last night. We were both quite nervous and but when i tried to penetrate i couldn't get fully in and i was hurting her so we had to stop. She was quite upset and explained that it happend with her previous relationships and that is probably why they ended. She had surgery to try and correct it so she was hoping that it would be ok with us but it wasn't. I know we were both nervous but she said im the person shes felt most comfortable with and that wasn't the problem. Obviously i assured her it was fine and we'll sort it out but what can she / i do both mentally and physically to help this problem?does anyone else have experience or know if this is a common problem. Many thanks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008):

Making love can be about so much more than "penetration". Why don't the two of you just forget about that part and enjoy each other's bodies, kissing, caressing, oral, etc. Take the pressure off penetration and just enjoy. Sex is supposed to be about pleasure, not pressure. Why not make a game of it with each other to see how much fun you can have without doing that part?

As a woman's body becomes aroused and relaxes, that "area" should loosen up. You could try exploring her with a finger if she's comfortable, then perhaps two. Unless you are unusually large, if she can handle two or three fingers she should be able to handle your penis. Just take it slow and easy.

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