A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me recently as he is too dependant on me and needs to experience life and grow up by himself. I support this and am very happy for him. The problem though is that we both still have feelings for eachother and are finding it very hard to deal with. We've been through a lot together and want to stay bestfriends. We feel we have two options. 1. Break contact and wait till our feelings diminish before seeing eachother again. (But we feel this is the hardest way for both of us, because we need eachothers support to get through this tough time, and having time apart may potentially ruin our future friendship). Option 2. See eachother as much as we used to, and be there to help and comfort eachother through the situation, and hope that our feelings for eachother will dimish as we start to accept what has happened, and then our need to comfort eachother will dimish also. (We know this may take longer, but think it will hurt less). So we've choosen option 2. But id like others opinions. How can we make a quick transition between our relationship and a friendship without feeling alone? Thankyou
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female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 He feels that he needs to grow up by himself and he broke up with you over that then he really needs to grow-up by HIMSELF! By being his friend and helping him through this he is still depending on you.
My advice to you is break contact with him. It will hurt but it will hurt MORE if you stay his friend in the long run. Your feelings for him may or may not diminish but as long as you two are comforting each other that will not diminish and you will continue to rely on each other and you deserve better then that.
He broke up with you and you need to heal. The only way you will heal from this is if you break off contact with him. Find things in life that you enjoy and don't be alone! Spend alot of time with your family and friends.
After he grows up and you healed and are over him then you can try to be friends. But it will never work if you stay his friend when he needs to grow up and you are not over him. It will only hurt you alot more.
I know it is hard and you are hurting. If you need to talk send me a message. Good Luck!
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