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female
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anonymous
writes: my bf n i have been together over a year and a half and we talk openly about our relationship. recently he has been telling me he is sexually frustrated. we can have sex and wiv in twenty minutes hes frustrated again. i have spoke to him about previous relationships and he said that nobody has ever got rid of his sexual frustration and its building up. He said that one night stands helped in the past because he could be really rough with them.what can we do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005):
I am betting the frustration isnt sexual. Its coming from somewhere else- but being powerful in sex subdues it for a while.
If you want to try dealing with it sexually, go for much longer sessions, 2 or 3 hours before he cums. It will be up to you to provide foreplay for most of this time.
A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (22 November 2005):
 Maybe he wants something different from the "norm". He says he likes one night stands because he can be rough with them. Do you expect everytime you have sex together you are making love, or can he be rough with you to? Try doing some role playing. Maybe acting as though he is controlling you, and you dont want him. Have a sign or a word at the start so if he is going too over the top he knows that you really do need him to stop. Wear different clothes, have sex in different rooms of the house. Just try different things. It may not be that he wants more sex, just different. Good Luck!
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (21 November 2005):
 It sounds to me that your boyfriend has a serious problem controlling his sexual urges. Either that or he is trying to get you to allow him to have one night stands!
It isn't normal to be as sexually frustated as he says he is. He needs to seek help in order to resolve this problem and I would suggest to you that he asks his doctor for assistance and/or a referral to a specialist.
The fact that he wants one night stands so that he can be rough with them is a serious worry. It could perhaps be that he wants to be rough with you but you shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do.
If you want a serious and committed relationship, allowing him to have one night stands would affect your relationship in a detrimental way.
Ask him to get help to sort this problem out.
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