A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Where do i begin? I love my girlfriend to bits in fact more than i have loved anyone before, and i know she feels the same. we are crazy about each other! We have been together for around a year (on and off), im british and she is dutch. I even moved over to holland around 8 months ago (we dont live together). We have split up a 2 times within this period for silly little reasons but got back together purely because we cant bare to be apart. I started Uni in amsterdam a month ago. she got really jealous with me as i was meeting new people (Girls)and not offering to introduce her to them (which i can understand). Anyway she got annoyed with me which annoyed me for some reason. Now the jealous thing has gone away and we have been stuck in this annoyed mood with each other and have been continuously arguing over silly little things which have no relevance or importance, For over 2 weeks now! Today we decided to not see each other for 4 days in the hope we will realise how stupid we have both been! Its unbearable as we were talking about breaking up, which neither of us want to do as it will be even worse!! Is it okay to get this annoyed with each other and how the hell do you get out of this Viscious circle of annoyingness?? Its really hard to and its hurting both of us!!Thank you for taking the time to read this.Best regards
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female
reader, Renata1967  +, writes (13 October 2008):
Why did you not want to introduce her to any of the girls you met?? I'm assuming that they were just friends, right??
Women hate elusiveness because they think you are trying to hide something bad whenever you are evasive. I think perhaps a tad bit of trust got eroded, and maybe you were just trying to have your own friends to yourself and then it got all misrepresented or something. If you can understand why she might be annoyed with this, then SHOW HER otherwise. Introduce her to your new (girl)friends. Quit reacting to something you say you understand, but aren't exactly acting like you are. I think she is saying she is not jealous, but maybe her mind is subconsciously messing with what her heart feels. Kiss her and tell her that you love her and that she has nothing to worry about - then SHOW HER....
A
female
reader, becks81 +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Oh dear i'm sorry you seem to have found yourself in a difficult and almost soul destroying situation. I cant tell you what to do but i have been in a similar situation and communication is key! I'm worried you seem to be focusing on this annoyingness issue when really you said you are both unhappy so this is the issue here surly?. I'm not sure what this 4 day day break or stop of communication will resolve i mean its not going to go away is it if you cant find the root of the problem.It seems to me that a good relationship needs a trust and do you really have that? ask yourself really. Love i'm sure this exists here but to love don't you have to accept someone for all the good and bad times? I think a relationship needs communication and you seem to be at lock heads at the moment and it needs honesty maybe you need to sit down and both discuss are you really making each other happy? I'm worried that you say you went to Holland to be with her i'm sure you are happy over there with uni and things but perhaps a little resent exists that you have perhaps given up a lot to be with her and she seems to be picking petty rows etc with you or vice-verse. I also think the fact you have made a bold move going over there means extra pressure is now on you two to make it work as a couple over there. To be in relationship like the one you were in before where its exciting each time you see each other because of the distance is one thing but when you move and become a fully committed couple things can change!Talk to her soon good luck x
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