A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I've been with this guy for a 1.5 years, and we lost our virginities to each other about 4 months into our relationship. We're both Christians, and have often said we need to stop having sex - it can be up to 3 times in one day, and every time we see each other we have sex. I don't know how we can break the habit of having sex so much. :( Please help us, are there any tips...?
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male
reader, mistermann +, writes (28 August 2012):
Or you could look at this from a different angle, if you have been having sex for 14 months before marriage, are your beliefs really that strong? Is it family or others that perhaps influence your beliefs?
What matters more to you, your relationship or your beliefs? If it's your relationship, then maybe you need to reassess your beliefs and where you stand. If it's your beliefs, then I believe that after 14 months you are going to have real difficulty in controlling your urges and should consider the advice from Fatherly Advice.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Are you CRAZY???? EVERYBODY dreams of having a "relationship" such as you and "B/F" have!!!!!
No more questions allowed.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 August 2012):
 why do you need to stop having sex?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (27 August 2012):
 So the genie is out of the bottle. Kind of hard to put it back in now.
Like you I'm a believer in premarital abstinence, So I'm probably able to give you an answer fitting to your needs. You believe that you are sinning, therefore in order to be happy you need to change your behavior to match your beliefs.
There are two approaches to this. First you could change your marital status. Then the sins would all be in the past and you could deal with them. And work to a better future. The second option would be to break up the relationship. There is a very low chance of success for you two to stay together and not continue having sex together.
Some other observations and advice. You have been together 18 months and sexually active for 14 months. Your pattern is not going to change easily. You are beyond the typical Honeymoon phase in relationships. You should be noticing some decline in sexual activity. Make sure your relationship is more than just sex. Are you on the same page spiritually? Emotionally? Intellectually? Physically (health and fitness)?
Are your reasons for not being married more important to you than your desire to be right with your god?
Really honestly, I don't think Having less sex is a good goal. Your goal should be to have no sex that violates your beliefs. Sex is one of the glues that holds relationships together. If you don't believe that then my advice won't fit you.
FA
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Stay out in public.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Why do you want to stop having sex in the first place?
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (27 August 2012):
 WHY?! Sex is great! My advice is to just keep doing what feels natural for you both. Just because you're Christian doesn't mean you can't have an active, satisfying sex life!
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