A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am confused about something. Nowadays, it seems quite normal for a single man to have sex with a single woman without any need for a relationship. This is something I fundamentally cannot understand. How can someone - man or woman - actually have sex, the most intimate form of physical experience two people can share, outside of a loving, committed relationship. It seems bizarre. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): As a general rule women seem to associate sex with love or an emotional attachment. That being said, men for the most part, have the ability to have both kinds of sex. Those being emotional and stictly physical sex. Most men will willing have sex with a woman that they would never consider a relationship with. I know that sounds terrible but from my experience that's the way it is.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): For one thing men's biology is more built to be fine with casual sex than women's is. (Their way may seem foreign to you, but let me assure you that your way seems just as foreign to them.)
And honestly, I think A WHOLE LOT of women these days are just letting themselves be taken advantage of.
It's not about what the women want. They WANT sex inside a relationship as much as ever, but it's really about what they will settle for. Many of them would rather settle for being a very hot guy's disposable fuck-toy than being a normal guy's beloved prize.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Call it the modern day feminism where women have been
emancipated and do enjoy gender equality and equal rights.
Women are enjoying the same rights as men.
We are no more living in the Victorian era.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 There are lots of views on sex. One that I've heard, and didn't make sense to me before, but does now, is that sex is a basic drive, just like hunger or the need for sleep.
Of course, you're not going to die for lack of sex, but sex and physical intimacy are something that is needed by every human being. Going without it may seem morally natural, but biologically it's denying ourselves something that our bodies fundamentally need.
The reason I changed my mind about this is because there have been periods of my life that I've been out of a relationship. For months -- years -- on end, I would go without sex and get very depressed because I wasn't finding a romantic, committed partner. Then I went to a part of the world where going out and getting a girl (a prostitute) was a very normal and accepted thing. I did what the other men were doing, and I gradually came to realise that my constant build up of the blues could be relieved by having sex. It wasn't sex with love, it was just the intimacy and release of being with a woman. It was like a refresher, a pick-me-up. Afterwards the world seemed a brighter place. There was a new spring in my step and I no longer felt so depressed.
I don't frequent prostitutes any more, but I do understand the absolute physical need that our bodies have for this thing called "sex". As someone told me, men are possibly better off than women in this regard. Many women, like yourself, regard sex as something sacred. In the absence of a meaningful relationship, such women will choose to go without. They may not have much other choice. For a man, it's easier. If you need it, you can go out and find a willing partner, and if you're desperate, you can go out and buy it.
Please don't think that I'm saying that sex isn't meaningful and intimate. What I'm saying is that it's a basic drive, like hunger, and it's something that human beings need. It goes without saying that it's far, far better in a loving committed relationship than in a one-night stand.
I hope this answers your question about why people can do it without a loving, committed relationship.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Each to their own I suppose. To some people its an incredibly intimate, personal, emotional and sometimes a spiritual thing. To others its something that feels good.
Personally I think human beings as a species were designed to want a lot of sex during their most fertile points in life and its natural (especially for males) to want to have a lot of sex with different partners. I think its something that has been repressed and restrained by society through time.
But everyone has their own views, opinions and lives to lead. As long as nobody is being hurt and everyones happy with what they're doing in their own lives then good luck to them I say.
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