A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:She clamins to love me..but yet she has no time for me. We are still early on in the relationship.. 3 months.. shouldnt we still be all over each other? For the past month its just been me barely getting by.. ive lost my cool once or twice because of this. I havent seen her for the past 3 weeks.. and when i ask her if i can see her she always has something that comes up .. She has to go see a friend, she's sick, she's busy.. and when i ask her.. so when am i going to see you.. all i get is soon.She doesnt call unless i ask her too, she takes hours to text back, she doesnt make an effort, and she never says thankyou.. and i know what your thinking.. she's just not that into you.. but if thats true.. When i tried to end it and leave.. she broke down crying begging me not to go..told me she would try. This was two weeks ago and still nothing has changed.What is this girl doing to me? I feel like im been taken for granted? How can she say she loves me if she can treat me like i mean nothing?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Congratulations! You acted in your own best interest and were truthful with her in letting her know why you had decided to end it.
Now you're free to please yourself and eventually meet someone really compatible who will appreciate you for who you are.
As for her: You did her a favor. I hope this will serve as a wake-up call for her to take a hard look at her behavior.......
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Good for you! Happy New Year! You did the right thing for you. I hope she remains gone and this is an easy break up.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Good for you! Dont let anyone treat you poorly when you know you deserve better! This is a great way to start the new year if you ask me, by standing up for yourself and setting a higher standard for how your life shall be and who you want included in your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI ended it tonight with her.. At first she said we will talk about this tomorow.. Then she did as she does best and put herself into defence position. Told me that i play mind games.. im dramatic and that i should learn how to open up or ill never find the one. I told her the honest truth.. im not happy.. i feel like she doesnt want to be in this relationship and shes disrespectful.. im honest, i take care of her and im 100% faithful.. but i deserve more..
And that was the last thing i said to her and she hasnt contacted me since.. Im going to go into full contact and push myself this year and find happiness.. thankyou for your replys.. you helped me out alot :).
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (1 January 2012):
I don't know what her deal is, but it's nothing good. I think you should leave her, because this is no way to treat someone you love. She might say the words, but her actions tells a whole different story. 3 months in you are right, you should be all over each other and you should be HAPPY, not hurting. I think you should end things with this weird girl before you hurt yourself even further. She isn't worth your time and effort, and she won't treat you any better in the future either. Because if you stick with her while she's like this she'll just continue like this.
I think the others might be right, maybe she just likes the idea of being in a relationship, but she's not that into the person she is in the relationship with! You aren't happy like this. So leave. It'll hurt for a while, but once you meet a girl who knows how to treat you right you'll feel happy. A relationship isn't worth it when you aren't happy in it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 January 2012):
She just doesn't want to be alone... so she hangs on to you.
Stop rowing the relationship boat.. don't call her... don't make plans...let her initiate things...
you are one hundred percent correct that actions speak louder than words and what she says contradicts what she does.
If you stop doing all the work in the relationship, see what happens...
it takes two people with give and take to have a relationship. if you are doing all the work and she is doing all the taking then it's unbalanced and you need to see if you can get the balance back.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (1 January 2012):
Maybe she just likes the idea of having a man around she can get in touch with when and if she chooses. Sort of a control issue. she'd lose that "power" if you end it.
But still, you shoudn't be puttintg up with this kind of behavior any longer!
You need to remind her that when you confronted her she promised to try to change and so far there is no evidence of it.
Tell her that unless she wants you to end it, you will expect to return texts the same day, and for her to call you at least once or twice a week. Tell her to choose a time and day when she can go out with you, and you don't expect to hear that "something has come up" at the last minute - unless it's something really dire, like a close family member being suddenly taken seriously ill (or that happening to her) or that her boss has demanded she work overtime that day and is threatening her with dismissal if she doesn't.
This should test her willingness or lack of it - to make your friendship work........
Good luck
P.S. I wouldn't nornally recommend ultimatums but in this case it might act on her as a shock of reality.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (1 January 2012):
Maybe she just likes the idea of having a man around she can get in touch with when and if she chooses. Sort of a control issue. she'd lose that "power" if you end it.
But still, you shoudn't be puttintg up with this kind of behavior any longer!
You need to remind her that when you confronted her she promised to try to change and so far there is no evidence of it.
Tell her that unless she wants you to end it, you will expect to return texts the same day, and for her to call you at least once or twice a week. Tell her to choose a time and day when she can go out with you, and you don't expect to hear that "something has come up" at the last minute - unless it's something really dire, like a close family member being suddenly taken seriously ill (or that happening to her) or that her boss has demanded she work overtime that day and is threatening her with dismissal if she doesn't.
This should test her willingness or lack of it - to make your friendship work........
Good luck
P.S. I wouldn't nornally recommend ultimatums but in this case it might act on her as a shock of reality.
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