A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About three months ago, I was madly in love with this girl I worked with. Turns out it was unrequitted. Beut, nether-the-less I still tried to get her. I sent her a valentine card and everything. Well, eventually she left, and I gave her a necklace as a leaving present. I'd spoke to her a few times on MSN and made my feelings known, I even asked her out again, but she always put it off.Now, for the last few months I've been torn. One half says I still love her, the other says I'm over her. I've took adive and met other girls, but I still can't get her out of my head. Anyway, she came into work today, and I spoke to her. She acted like nothing happened, as if we were just old colleagues/friends, rather than the fact that I'd laid my heart at her feet! She was more interested in talking to one of the other staff members that she didn't even know as well as me. I was just so devastated, I walked away from them without saying goodbye. I don't even think she knew or cared I'd gone. How can she be so cold? She wouldn't give me closure or anything. It really does depress me. Is there any way I can win her? Seeing her again just brought back old memories of her. Now that I think about it, I didn't want to see her again because of this. But then she appears, and I fall for her again.What can I do!? I can't just forget about her, I've tried that.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Guillaume is so right on this. She isn't interested in you, sorry, but those are the breaks. Stinks, doesn't it?
We get a lot of questions on Dear Cupid about how to get someone out of one's mind and heart. There's no simple way to do this, you've already begun by dating other girls.
I had a thought about this today; I think you need to treat this as though you had suffered a bereavement. You know, someone close to you has died and you can't ever see or talk to them again. It's very hard and sad to deal with this, but people do manage to get through their grief. It's about making a new 'normal.' You can't ever go back to not knowing them or caring about them, but you can and should move on and live your life to the fullest without them.
I too have had my necklaces. Most of us have, you're not alone. Eventually, and if this is only 3 months of time, you will find the memory growing fuzzy. And don't try to seek closure with her. She may tell you something truly hurtful and that will stick with you forever. Just accept this as a loss in your life, and cope with it in that way.
Good luck.
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