A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi im really worried about my mother in law.I think she may have alzheimer's disease and but hope to find out soon. she is very hard to look after. my partner and myself are always round there for a few hours each day as she lives alone and cannot do anything for herself. we really have no life at all and my partner is worn out. she's asked for help and that but would a care home be better? Is it free to stay in a home if you don't have any money at all?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2015): a big thank you for your reply my partner is in charge of what happens and how to cope with all this but if things do get really bad even more then they are i shall tell my partner or show her what you have said. thank you it does help alot we may need to read over what you said again in the future.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 June 2015):
 Hi The local authority in the UK or the NHS in the UK may no option at time but to fund the care. There are some restrictions.It will depend on the level of assets your mother in law has. If she has no assets and does not own her home and only gets a government pension and she has no relatives able to help then the NHS is likely to come to the conclusion that they will have to find a place for her, for her own safety. Though I am sure that vulnerable people slip through the cracks in the system all the time, awaiting good care.I think you need to approach the helpline by calling (UK) 0300 222 1122 or there is a UK Alzheimer's online helpline that they can advise you of when you phone the number above.The helpline is usually open from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and from 10am - 4pm at weekends. However, the service may be closed occasionally during these times for operational reasons.Explain the exact circumstances for your mother in law.You need to get the ball rolling so that she can be assessed. The local authority or social services department will carry out a financial assessment to find out how much capital and/or savings your mother in law has available to fund her care.I have a healthy level of scepticism about the authorities so I would caution you to not reveal your own financial resources, even if they ask. You should not allow anyone to guilt you into paying for your mother in law's care, though some may suggest you do pay for it. I have heard of some horror stories where relatives handed over money that they barely could manage to lose themselves, to pay for things for a relative - where I think they should not have paid for those costs.They have no right to delve into your financial resources and you do not have to reveal your own financial resources..State or private pension payments and most benefits will be taken into consideration when her assets and the income your mother in law receives, in total, is assessedYour mother in law's level of financial resources is the issue on the table.this group may be able to give you relevant advice: http://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/about-dementia/helpful-information/support-for-carers/do make use of this resource above.Has your mother in law been assessed as lacking capacity? if yes and if she has not granted you authority to pay her debts and purchase things she needs like nighties and personal supplies then you may need to apply to the Court of Protection for the right to manage her financial affairs - and get them to give you permission to act as her Power of Attorney. If you do purchase anything for her you must keep receipts for anything, no matter how small, before you can be reimbursed from her funds for the expenditure made on her behalf such as nighties, slippers and personal expenses like a hair cut etc.Once again I caution you to treat carefully. After hearing some horror stories I also have a healthy level of scepticism about the Court of Protection. Their tactics seem very heavy handed at times,against known loving family, so treat carefully with them. If your mother in law lives in a rented council property then that needs to be dealt with. Because clearly she cannot still pay rent and go into a care facility. So someone with authority (legal authority - like her Power of Attorney) will need to pack up and sort through her things as to what she can take and what may have to be stored or sold and the proceeds to go into her bank account.If things reach an emergency situation where your mother in law is a danger to herself then you can call the Police as in an emergency the police can take action that results in your mother in law being taken to a hospital to be assessed as needing care. This is an upsetting situation but it may be the best way for a vulnerable person to be put into the system and get the round the clock 24/7 365 days a year 24 hour care they need, and adequate supervision of any medication the person needs to take regularly.The situation is very difficult and very distressing for all. That is also why I suggest that you get some good support from the carers or alzheimer's associations that are familiar with these distressing situations.
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