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How can one suddenly stop feeling the love overnight?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi,

my girlfriend broke up with me last night. i was devastated. she said she see's me more of a best friend rather than a boyfriend. again, this breaks my heart.i can't bare life without her, i love her so much..i cant even describe how much in words. how can she suddenly stop loving me overnight? i really want her back. but i dont know what to do

any advice is appreciated.

View related questions: best friend, broke up

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A male reader, Karlos Omnis United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

Karlos Omnis agony auntThe thing that you have to remember here, even if you do want her back as you state, you cannot change a made mind.

I have to agree with starfairy, if it was love it would not just "vanish", falling out of love is a gradual process (think of a chisel chipping away at a stone until there's nothing left).

It's early days at the moment, and that's why it seems that the world is swallowing you, but time is a fantastic healer, and I promise you it will get easier.

In the meantime find some activities to distract yourself rather than dwell on it, that's when you can do the most damage to yourself

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

kenny agony auntI know it does not feel like it now but things will get easier. I know its awful when a relationship finishes with someone that you cared about. You feel like your world has caved in, and you just can't seem to find any way out. I can tell you from hindsight & experience that you will get over this soon, then you can put this all down to a learning curve, a chapter in your life. You are still very young, soon you will meet another girl that you are crazy about and you will forget all about your ex, thats just the way it goes.

Good luck

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

starfairy agony auntThe things is, if it was real love from her side there's no way it could disapear overnight. It takes time for true feelings to disapear, it's hard to think about but she may have been waiting for the right time to breakup with you. Which is understandable as it sounds like you are pretty intense and full on in your feelings for her.

You might have stifled her a little, you are young and to be honest there will be plenty more relationships, makeups and breakups to come yet! Just learn from your experience, take in what may have gone wrong, and apply it to your next relationship.

In the mean time keep yourself busy. Go out with friends, join a class, if you wallow in your bedroom it will make you feel worse and it will take longer to get over.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntYour young this will probably happen over and over again we all break someones heart and have our hearts broken its part of life and sometimes its better to have friends then a girlfriend (cheaper and less stressful)as much as you dont want to hear it you need to move on and someone else will come along and you will be happy, you cant waste your life on someone who doesnt feel the same.

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