A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The past 6 months or so have been great, but before that we had a few issues with cheating and flirting behind each other's backs. We're much better now but the wounds haven't completely healed and I have a tendency to get a little jealous and clingy. My boyfriend and I are both in college and he often has to work in groups for hours at a time. Right now he's working with a group for the whole semester on homework and projects and whatnot. We're barely on the second month of the semester and he's already spent a great deal of time with them. Lately though, he's been extra moody with me. He seems really distracted and uninterested in me. I've tried asking him about it but it seems he doesn't care at all about my concerns or my feelings. He's really touchy and stressed out around me all the time now. I've been attributing this behavior to his busy schedule. Today however, I brought him coffee while he was in the library working with his group. He kind of ignored me and barely acknowledged me or even introduced me to his group. I figured it was because they were all busy. What bothered me was that he was being extremely nice and polite to his group members, one guy and one girl. They were laughing and making jokes and even made plans to have lunch the next day all while completely ignoring my presence. How can my boyfriend be so pleasant and in a good mood with these people and at the same time be rude and in this horrible mood around me?Am I perhaps just being jealous again or could there be more to this? Thank you so much in advance.
View related questions:
flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 February 2012):
 Do you have a habit of showing up during his group projects to sort of check on him??
With not too much to go on, I'd say it's a combination of your jealousy, clinginess, and him being stressed out with university. Being jealous and clingy, will push your boyfriend further away from you..causing a bad attitude.
It's not fair to jump to conclusions that there's something going on with these pals from his group. A guy and a girl, unless he wants a 3some? Has your boyfriend cheated before?? Or you're just overly jealous? If your boyfriend doesn't have a cheating past then there's no need to suspect anything at all.
Although it wasn't fair of him to be rude to you, I think you need to back off of him a bit. I think your clinginess is really starting to annoy him. If you're not careful it could ruin this relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): "Bf" is "nice" to his "friends" because he knows his "friends" would never stand for him being dishonest, abusive and "mean" to them for one second (never mind five years), otherwise they would drop him as a "friend" in a heartbeat, he'd wouldn't have them as any "friends" anymore and he'd have a hard time finding other people dumb and masochistic enough to want to be "friends" with him.
In other words, Bf is only doing what he knows you will let him get away doing just as you have for the past five years because he knows you are not only are you a doormat, you are a clingy jealous doormat who can't stand the thought of any other random female roaming the earth "stealing" your Prince Charming away from you because your better than any other girl he could pick up off the street to control and abuse.
Like any clingy chick, your ego and vanity rule above brains, self-respect, dignity, common sense, morals and values. You get what you're willing to settle for, and for you that isn't very much.
...............................
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 Huge red flag hunny! I think this boy is ready to move on. You should tell him how you feel and if he can't make the effort to be more polite and nicer to you .. you should let him know that you are not having it and break it off!
If you don't,.. he will continue to DUMP on you everytime he is having a bad time... coz he knows that you can and will accept anything he does... so set the standards! Good luck .. xx
...............................
|
