A
female
age
22-25,
*mIready
writes:I've been dating my bf for 5 months. He is 19 and I'm 16. I'm still a button and he has been really patient with me. He isn't a virgin, he's the total opposite. He has had sex with 11 different girls, 3 of those girls would hook ups at parties. He says he is fine with me being a Virgo and doesn't push to go further but I can tell he gets frustrated when I stop things. Over the weekends we were home alone and things got intense, we both were really turned on and I let him go alittle further then we ever did before. We could tell when I wasn't 100% comfortable and asked me if I wanted to stop. When I said yes I could see a look of disappointment on his face, he said he was fine and and we spent the rest of the evening watching movies but after he went home and we were texting he said it was hard to stop and how we either needed to stop putting our selves in situations like that because it wasn't fair. When I asked him what he meant by fair he said never mind and wouldn't talk about it after that. What do you think he meant ?I really like him and I know I want to be with him but I'm nervous. He's. wens with a lot of girls and I don't want to be a disappointment to him and part of me is kinda jealous of those girls. I want to be more then just another girl. How can keep him interested in me and not compare me to the others he was with ?
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (11 October 2016):
 Sorry I meant Prepared that it is NOT be as you imagine
A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (11 October 2016):
He means it is not 'fair' to get him sexually excited then shut it down. For a boy of that age and experience to still be patient for 5 months suggest he is into you a bit more than a 'score' but the age gap can be a problem. Anyones first time can be nerve racking regardless if you feel you are ready. My guess is you are going to do it with him, regardless of any advice, so my advice would be to talk to him about your worries about being inexperienced and want the moment to be right not rushed. Your first time should be a nice time not some wham bam thank you ma'am quicky on the couch, and be prepared for the event. Prepared with condoms and prepared that it might be all that you might of imagined it would be. Not to put a dampener on things but you have to be realistic about things too. Having sex doesn't mean a guarantee of a long loving relationship after the fact either.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 Sweetie it is obvious from your post that you are not ready to have sex with him. It sounds like he is being decent and not trying to push you further than you are ready for. But making out with him and turning him on is a struggle for him, and that is why he is saying it is not fair on him.
You are jealous off his past girlfriends, that shows you are still to young to have sex with him. It is a large age gap when you are 16.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 Youre just too young. I think you should consider only dating him as platonic-ly as possible is or break up and just focus on school.
Dont feel pressure into having sex, he sounds like a good guy for stopping but men who has had sex knows its hard to stop when youre completely turned on. And he sounds like hes into you or else he would be dating other girls. Hes not comparing you at all, he just desires you as most guys desire the girl they are with.
Relax and tell him youre just not ready. If Im completely honest, Its best to lose your virginity in your 20s. Any sexual experience under 21 is just too young and the maturity that goes along with sex doesnt quite develop until your much much older.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 If you don't know what he meant, I think he's too far ahead for you. 16 and 19 is a big gap. He means you can't turn him on (like touching and heavy making out), if you're not ready to go all the way.
You don't need to have sex yet and you're clearly not ready, which is good, but he is and it's not fair for you both to be in a relationship that doesn't fulfil your needs. You're not ready and he is, which means you're not well-matched.
I think you should talk about breaking up. Having sex would be a bad idea and touching while making out will put him in a difficult position. You don't *owe* him sex, so please don't think of it as that, but he should be able to have sex in a relationship and you aren't ready for that yet.
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