A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I was with a man who thinks sex can be separated from love. After several months of dramas, i knew he's not someone i can have a future together with. He often messaged me after i left and i ignored him. One day he texted if i wouldn't talk with him again. I sort of "melted" and said i thought he should have used to this. He said not at all and he considered me as a friend, not an entertainment. I said since day 1 i'd known we are not meant to be for one another. He said he didn't think necessarily so and asked if we could spend some more time to see how we would be. Honestly facts are very clear that i shouldn't let myself make the same mistake again and again (yes, i was in a on-and-off "relationship" with him, someone I have trust issues with (he once told me he needs sex twice a day and admitted that he had 7 other girls when we were together). I am straightly monogamous and find him "disgusting" although i know people have different needs. We are just incompatible.He sometimes whatsapps me and asks if we can meet. Now if i don't get his messages in 3 days, i would feel a bit sad and wonder how he is doing. I also stalk his social media accounts. I HATE MYSELF for wasting time on someone not worth it. I feel so sour when other girls post photos with him or with his dog in his place. How can i save myself? He's like opium to me!I feel better after i confessed. Thank you for your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the advice. I know it all. It's all up to myself. WiseOwlE, i like your last bit in particular!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2016): Delete numbers, block all social media accounts, and go cold-turkey. If you don't see him or hear from him, you can't be manipulated by him.
You leave him ways to contact you; while you pretend like you are trying to get away from him. You are flattered by his sweet-talk and cheap manipulations to get to you. You ARE there for his entertainment. He's mocking you and thinks you're stupid.
Okay, now it's time to grow-up. Writing a post asking for advice is just an exercise of tedium; if you have no intention of taking the advice you're given.
You know what's best for you, and you can't let your vagina make those decisions. He's a player, shows you total disrespect, and your accepting this treatment is lowering your self-esteem. You feel under his power. Truth is, you are not. You are being submissive, and leaving yourself wide-open.
Get a grip, girlfriend! Cut it with the nonsense you can't help yourself, knowing good and well you really don't even try. He's bad news and poison. He's sucking the life and youth out of you.
Here's something to get you thinking. Someday soon you'll look in the mirror and wonder where all your life has gone, while this guy is using up the best of your years.
How's that for motivation?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 Put some effort into someone else and give yourself something else to focus on. You do it because he's 'there'
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 Delete his number, block all social media and distract yourself. When you are thinking about him, read a book or watch tv or go for a walk. It will soon pass but you need to stay away from him and his social media. We all have needs but that does not excuse him being with several different girls.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 Block all contact and stop stalking or else you'll never move on.
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