A
female
age
30-35,
*oimoimoi
writes:I'm an exchange student in France and about a month ago, i've started dating a French guy. He's a master student and we met in the language center that he works. He was very into me from the beginning like i've never met anybody who had such an obvious crush on me. He was kind of a cute dorky type and i was also starting to like him a lot. Last monday we had sex for the first time and it was great, a lot better than expected. We did again on Thursday night and on Friday morning, i left for a weekend trip to the south of France. We said we will meet on Monday and everything seemed fine. Friday night, I texted him with a little picture of me on the beach teasing him like "jealous?". He didn't respond for a while but then he did and he said i look so pretty in the picture, he is thinking about me, etc etc. The next morning i sent him another picture with the sunrise on the beach but then he ignored. It was a facebook message so I knew he has read the message but chose not to respond. After that, he hasn't returned any of my calls and sms until Tuesday when i sent him a message that his behavior is quite rude and im not veey happy with it. He finally wrote back to me and said he wants to meet me tomorrow because he has something to say. I had a very bad feeling so i told him if he wanted to break up, i'd rather not see him and just get it over with online. Because i really didn't want to face him for a breakup i never expected. But then he said he doesn't want to break up but he just wants to talk to me and see me. The next day we met and the first thing he said to me was that over the weekend, suddenly all his feelings for me are gone and he has no idea why. Before that he just wanted to always be with me but that just didnt come up to him anymore. He said im so beautiful with very interesting personality and even said i was the best sex, he just doesnt want me to feel like he only wanted sex. He said he cannot force his feelings to come back and there's nothing wrong that i had done. I am still confused and can't accept what just happened yesterday. I have so many doubts about what could have happened over the weekend but if what he saying is true, how can this just happen? How can just feelings go away like that when he seemd to be so into me just couple days ago? How should i digest this situation? I knew there was no future between us but that's not what im wondering about here. Why do u think this guy is suddenly acting this way? I haven't done anything to him over the weekend except sending him 2 pictures. What do u think went wrong? Is he just a weird person? I feel so insecure about myself right now.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): Girl, all he wanted from you is just sex. Period. Is he a player? Obviously. You dont have to ask. Oh my, you should have think a hundred times before sex. Men are only good in the beginning, they will try their best to have sex with anyone who will say yes to them. Especially online. To them its just like something they want for fun. A man who is truthful will nevet give up and sacrifice things for you. But if he isnt doing it, say he will just give up, trust me its a trash. Throw it. No matter how much you like him, throw him away. Unless you have no pride and you want to have some fun too. But i dont think so, thay why you write here. Lastly, dont just believe everything you hear from men. If i were you, ill play their game but ill make sure he wont get a piece of me unless im satisfied. All is fair in the name of love and sex. Learn how to make men drool for nothing. Its a nice feeling to leave a player wondering where they went wrong. I hope all women knows that, so no one will complaint why they arent treated right.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): It can, only when there was not much in a beginning.
I had a similar story only when I "suddenly" lost feelings for a guy.
I liked him enough to have sex with him, but the over the course of 2 weeks, I got bored with him. It's not that he was bad in sex, he was quite good, it's just the way he cuddled too much, the way he always wanted to stay over, and do things overweekend with us hardly knowing each other. He obviously liked me much more than I loved him, and finally I couldn't standing enough to tell him it's over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): He's a player, and all he wanted was sex. In the meantime, he met someone else; and now he has to get you out of the way.
I'm glad you haven't really had the chance for your feelings to take hold. Guys can be very convincing that they care for you if that's what it takes to get you in the sack. I hate saying this to young women; because it's a stab in the heart.
I'm a gay man, and I know it from two-sides. Being a man, and being played by a man. I guess, there is irony in that.
You don't lose your feelings about someone overnight. That only means there were no feelings, or he has found a better option. I think you're bright enough to know better; but you're grasping for something to not feel used.
This will happen to you, sooner or later. It's a lesson to be learned about some men. A life-lesson. Just don't become jaded on this one incident. All guys are not like that.
He told you what you wanted to hear, and you now know it wasn't true. Don't beat yourself up. It was a momentary romance, shared passion, and now you move on.
Don't stress yourself out trying to make sense of this.
You're old enough to deal with adult situations, and you have to be strong no matter what. Don't let him see you sweat.
Be strong as ever, it will fade in time. He may not feel much guilt about it, but trust me. He will have his karma.
He'll get his own heart broken. That is the destiny of a player. Doing dirty to people boomerangs back.
Take care of your feelings. Hold on to your dignity, and hold your head high at all times.
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