A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can a relationship of a 9 years age difference work? I really like this guy (older), but it would obviously be against the law to date him now.Somehow my parents managed it (13 year age difference), but they met at work when they were both legal. And my youngest brother is 11 years younger than me. I guess I don't really think about years that much. I just know that I like him, but it's currently illegal. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): There is no law against having an older friend, but knowing that you have feelings for this guy, you could be treading on dangerous territory!
Please be careful and take the great advice you have been given. We really do know what we are talking about!
You have a full life ahead of you, I wish the best of luck, and Very Happy Holidays!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs there any way to start building some sort of relationship now? (obviously not a love one, for that would be illegal.)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 December 2008):
 Nine years wouldn't worry me if you were older. We tend to suppose that a difference of nine years is always the same. For example, that the nine-year gap is as important between a 69 year old and a 60 year old as it is between a 39 year old and a 30 year old. But, obviously, the difference between a 0 (zero) year old and a nine (9) year old is the same, in terms of time, but not the same, in terms of life experience, maturity, et cetera.
In general, nine years is not that much difference unless the two people are in very different stages of life. That's the point I want to make.
For the time being, that relationship would be legally wrong. Wait until you're older and then try your luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): Age is just a number (unless of course like you say, one is Not of legal age)
But as you get older, you will see that it matters less and less. Love has nothing to do with those numbers.
I could understand concern if there was a 30 or 40 year age gap...then there would be very little in common, although celebrities do it all the time...but look at their track records!
A woman of 25, and a man of 34 could very well have a lasting relationship and as the years go by and she's say...40 and he's 49, it would be less of an issue. The key here is maturity!
My first husband was 26 when we married, I was 18. It didn't last but it had nothing to do with the age difference...he was just a jerk! And at 18 years old, I didn't see that!
It's best to stick to your own age group until you gain some worldly wisdom so men won't take advantage of you!
I hope I have helped!
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