A
female
age
41-50,
*osy
writes:hi, can anyone help?... I want to be in a relationship but whenever i try to wait for sex it doesnt work... I havent had that many but I dont know how to withold sex till I know the guy... what do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Rosy +, writes (20 August 2009):
Rosy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for most the answers...big help, but the nickel comment made NO sense so no thanks to that person. You all seem nice.:)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): If you have to tell a guy that he has to wait for sex because he is asking for it he isn't the type of guy you really want in your future. You need to be more discriminating in your selection. You need to find guys that are polite and eager to learn from you where you both want to go.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Gee, i never get this. I have never pressured any girlfriend into having sex. It's just rude and demeaning to them.
Who are these men you are meeting? I would suggest you change tactics , you are obviously attracting the wrong type.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): If a guy thinks he's going to sleep with you then he will probably push harder and be more annoyed when you shut him down early. So if you are giving off too much of a sexual vibe in the pre-sex stages that is probably trouble. It's easier to stay out this situation if you don't let the stage get set for it before to try to stop it. If you lose the guy this way, then you never had him anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): PS in this day and age I have to clarify that oral sex is SEX, it is not a substitute or a way to withhold sex, cause it is sex!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): This question made me smile, how do I withhold sex until I know the guy better?
You withhold sex until you get to know the guy better.
You can still be sexual, kissing, etc and let him know you find him a sexy man, but you don't want to get into trouble by getting intimate too soon, that you want to get to know him better first.....and you wait I'd say at least 90 days to find out more about him....people are on their best behavior in the beginning and can hide a lot for one, and sex often just clouds your mind and tricks you into thinking he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he may not be up for the job of a serious boyfriend at all.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Just a girl who can't say no, eh? You could try keeping a nickel between your knees until you get to know the guy better. But really, have you no control over your actions? Your life your body.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): date/court in public places - try to avoid being too alone if you are worried about temptation or the exspectaion of sex. Bedrooms may have to be off limits. Be honest with potential partner - tell him that you've looking for a guy to get to know, not rush into a physical relationship with. Perhaps create a time scale for yourself of when you think you'll know a guy well enough to take it to the next level e.g. six weeks, six, months, six years etc. However each guy is unique and it may take a longer or a shorter time to truely get to know him. Perhaps double date as its hard to get hot and heavy when you have company. Focus on teh activities you do together e.g. bowling, movies, going to zoo, roller blading etc. Make dating a more innocent experience perhaps =)
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A
female
reader, mediocreland +, writes (19 August 2009):
You just tell him he has to wait for sex if he wants to be with you.
I know everyone says this, but any guy who would leave you over waiting for sex isn't worth being with in the first place.
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