A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been married for four years and i have never lied or cheated on my husband. he on the other hand, has. i forgave him and he promised he would never lie or cheat on me again. yesterday i decided to hang out with a high school friend that i hadn't seen in over 10 years. i seriously just talked about how happy i was and bragged about my husband the whole time! when my husband asked where i had gone i lied and said i went to visit my sister. the reason why i lied was because he would have never agreed if i told him i was meeting a high school friend. especially the fact that he's a guy.i'm not the best liar and he sensed that i wasn't being truthful. when he asked me again i told him the truth. i told him i was so sorry for lying and felt ashamed for doing so. i felt disgusted with myself but was glad i told him the truth. he was so upset and said that i just ruined our marriage. he felt betrayed and didn't know if he could ever trust me again. i understand him getting upset at me for lying but to say that our marriage was in jeopardy was a little too much. i forgave him in the past so why can't he do the same?how can i win his trust back? i desperately need some advise!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): I'm speechless. Lost for words. For a while anyway!
Do you really want to win his trust back? Is he looking for the slightest excuse to get out of the marriage?
Tell him you'll be initiating divorce proceedings if he thinks so little of you or your marriage that something as trivial as this could jeopardise it!
He needs to get a grip on reality and you need to stop treading on eggshells while you're around him. Stand up for yourself and point out to him the fact that he's an asshole of the first water, not you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
You havne't even cheated! Who does your husband think he is? This is a case of him knowing that he's done wrong and now he thinks he can take the moral high ground by saying you've wrecked the marriage. The question is do you want to be with a man who treats you like this? Remind him that you haven't cheated and haven't done anuything wrong. Remind him that you forgave him after he cheated. If he doesn't listen to you, leave him and find someone better. Don't be controlled by a man who is surrounded in his own guilt and is trying to blame you.
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