A
female
age
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*ain1961
writes:I met a nice guy from Burbank, CA, and in the two months that we've been chatting we fell in love. Using his words, we found a connection. He's not been into a relationship for 5 long years and i've never been into a relationship for so long a time. Fact is this is the first time in a so long a time that i've fallen in love. He planned of visiting me and spending our birthdays together. I introduced him to my friends and invited him to an online conference with them. However, one morning while we were talking someone message him. All he said to me was something fishy going on and he thought it was me messaging him using another ID. I didn't know what was going on. The next time we talked he demanded for an explanation. I didn't know what was happening and didn't want to lose him so i thought of just admit and explain and said sorry. Then he stopped talking to me. One day my friend told me that she message him and told me everything. That he denied me. Then he message him again and he told her that i lied and deceived him.When i found out the truth i emailed him and asked for his reasons. He told me that he did really love me but that i played with his heart. And now he forget about me and moved on. We are still friends but not the way it used to be. I moved on although I am still hurting. I still love him the same.I need your advice, how can i make him trust me again? How can I win him back? I really like the guy. He is nice and I know he is who he says he is. He is not rich, just a kind of simple guy. He didn't promise me a thing only his love for me.He totally forget his planned visit because of what happened. I want to see him in person but we are miles away and going to him is so difficult. I am willing to see him and spend but trouble is visit visa is so difficult to obtain.I need your help. Is there a chance he will forgive me for what he thought I did to him? Will I ever win him back? If so, tell me how. If not, its okay. Life will fo on.
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female
reader, Rain1961 +, writes (27 October 2007):
Rain1961 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess you misunderstood me, Egghead. I did not lie. He accused me of lying and deceiving him because of what my friend did. I never lied to him, he knows everything about me, my job, my family and when we chat on cam he see everything that is going on inside my house. I did admitted something i did not do because I thought it was the best way and I was wrong.Why would you say I am a serious adulterer? I've been separated from my ex for so many years now and in all those years I never dated nor was I in a relationship, casual or otherwise. He was the first man I've fallen in love with for the first time after a long time.Thanks anyway for your answer.
A
female
reader, Rain1961 +, writes (27 October 2007):
Rain1961 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Oblivia. I did tell him about it, everything about what my friend told me and yes, i did tell him i just found out it was my friend who message him. I said sorry to him. I didn't take this against him. I told him I love him but did not force the issue so much because I know he got hurt bad. Yes, he needed time to think and I think he did. He said he already moved on, quit his job and went back to school. He said we will still talk as friends but I know he is not ready yet to talk to me. Maybe he has not yet forgiven me. I understand that, forgiveness, to some people, is not easy to give. And I know him.
This happened just last May 26 and the last time we talked was two weeks ago.
In time, in God's perfect time, he will forgive me. Although it will take miracles to make him want me again.
thank you so much for your reply.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 Oh, this must be very hard for you. It is very hard to sort things out when not seeing eah other face to face.
How long time ago did this happen? It could be he needs some time to think this over. I think you should give a last shot to tell him how you feel. Don't be sentimental or crying, be rational so he understands that you are serious. Tell him what happened, that you didn't know what was going on, that you felt confused and that you can't explain why you admitted to something you didn't do, but you did and that you are sorry for this because you can see he was hurt. You don't have to tell him it was your friend doing it if you don't feel like it, it shouldn't matter, the important thing is that it was not you. Then give him some time to think it over. I don't know what this other person said to him but he should be able to forgive you because people do make mistakes sometimes. If he doesn't, then maybe he is actually not ready to be your boyfriend. I'm sure you would forgive him for making a mistake like this, so expect the same thing from him.
Wish you all the best!
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