A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need help fast! Me and my boyfriend have been together long distance for 5 years. We have planned to be together after he got out of the military with a medical discharge and got all his medications and papers straightened out. We do alot of text messaging on the phone as he also does with a buddy of his. Just a month ago we was jus mere weeks from him moving to where i am, he sent a text message pertaining to him getting these medications and all straightened out so he would be on his was, which i thought for his buddy and not for me so i asked if that message was meant for me. Well that done it, it delayed us being together because i didnt open up to it but instead asked if for me. Prior to this we had the greatest 2 weeks we had ever had before. The relationship become dampened after this and he said that maybe i needed to take a break for a while just to make sure he was the one i wanted to be with. Eventually, it went to i didn't make him happy any longer. I was angered and in anger i told him he was set free from me. Wrong thing to do because i never wanted that. but i went a step further and lied and told him a few days later that i had been with someone else. Of course i hadn't been i only stupidly tried to make him jealous. Later that same day i did confess however that it was a lie and that i hadn't been with anyone else and i had only realize that i'd made a terrible mistake and never meant i wanted to set him free. To make matters worse i misunderstood him saying it was all i had going for me. i thought he meant that i had been with someone when he actually meant that i was honest and confessed. Anyway due to thinking he meant because i'd been with someone i then lied again and said that i had been with someone and went in to detail over it as he asked questions about it. During these questions i realized that i could no longer keep up this lie and i once again confessed the truth that i had not at any time been with anyone. Well i'm sure you can see my dilemma in this. I've lied repeatedly and only within a 24 hour period. Now all he says is "well you set me free and now you've lied numerous times. Please tell me what i can do to try and win him back. Everything was great until the lie basically. Help me fast!
View related questions:
a break, discharge, jealous, long distance, military, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, banannine +, writes (20 March 2007):
 first you have to breethe.... just relax and think ratinally. call him, calmly without tears or histeria tell him the whole story. pick up the phone and say, "i realize you are angry, i realize that i have hurt you but i want you to take a moment and listen to me." tell him slowly how everyhting happend. tell his you would never be with anybody else and that he is the man of your life. tell him that your anger was stupid and DONT try to pin it on him and his behavior... when you are done telling his the whole TRUTH tell him that you know how wrong you were, but you learn from your mistakes and that you hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive you. thw thing is, that if you plead and cry, he will fell (like every man) that he has you were he wants you and will take a long time to think. in that time he can change his mond about being with you compleetly. if you call yelling and being histerical, he will confirm his curent doubts.
when you are done telling him everything, tell him that you hope he will call you and that you will miss him terribly if he doesent and hang up. hell call, they always do.
|
