A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a LDR.... just 3 weeks ago I found out that my bf has been cheating with me for the last 3 years so I left him. Right now his with other girl and they are about to get married. I just can't get rid of his memories. It kills me when it comes to my mind that his with another girl. Please help me.... I really want him out of my life but I can't stop thinking about him. I have heartaches when I end up thinking about him and the girl he is with. I tried my best not to think about him but after every minute I again end up thinking about his voice, his looks, his promises. Worse thing is I end up thinking him with that girl on bed which really kills me. Please help me how can I totally forget him. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 I went thru a similar experience. It hurt me so bad for quite some time too. But think of it this way, he's a cheater, and a liar and you don't want that is a man. It hurts now but you really dodged a bullet. Can you imagine being married to him for years and you find out he's cheating, that would hurt you more than what you're going thru.
In time, you will find a good and faithful man who will be true to you and only you.
I got over it, and you will too but it won't happen overnight. You also have to train your mind not to constantly think about it, don't dwell on it. Keep yourself and your mind busy on other things. Even do self affirmation on how you deserve better. It worked for me.
Good luck, and I know what you're going thru.
A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 *^&$%#$%!!!! )^&@#$@#$!!!! &(#$%@%!@$!!
He really REALLY REALLY SUCKS!!! Good for you!!! He's out of your life. And frankly the best revenge you can get when someone steals your man is to let her keep him!!!!
Who the heck would want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who'd actually be in a THREE year relationship(all one thousand and ninety-five days there of) and cheat: Look some one in their face daily, kiss them, say I love you... and stab them in the back?
Of course its gonna hurt!!! Of course you're sometimes gonna be seething over how unfair it all seems... Of course its gonna be hard to see the positive... thats why I'm gonna help you:
#1 He can NEVER cheat on you again! Isn't that great? You've ripped him of the power to ever make you feel so crap again!!!! Congratulations...
#2 You see how you feel now? How it drives you insane to picture them getting it on? Well, this is the last time you have to do that!!!! She is gonna have to do that for the rest of her life!!! And thats gonna be her husband!!!Take that!!!!
There was a time people were stoned for crap like this!!!
I agree with this OTHERSTARFISH chap. Expanding your frame of reference, doing something stimulating would be a great distraction and channel for the pain, anger and confusion.
I also recommend crazy all night dancing (even if only in your room) All kinds of music too- sad, angry, hopeful- whatever your mood.
Its perfectly normal to be ticked off about the bride-of-spineless (RING THE ALARM, I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS TOO LONG, BUT I'LL BE DAMED IF I SEE ANOTHER CHICK ON YOUR ARM) Its not that you want him back, its just that you're territoral. You're so used to him belonging to you that it drives you insane to see another female on your turf. It'll pass. You already know the turf's over rated and if she wants to spend the rest of her life with your leftovers...
You'll thank her for this one day... But it'll take time. You didn't build these feelings over night, and if you're a person of substance, they won't disappear over night either... Keep strong!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): Totally forget him...hmm that's hard work, will need a scapel and a saw.. How about we make the memories subside a little?
For years your belief has held this relationship together and kept you strong - now you have to rechannel all that passion.
The problem is you are thinking - way too much about him. Think about something else, anything else. think of the greatest trip you could do in the world - only stopping in 7 places.
Designing a garden writing a book - anything that means you don't think - do things - meet people - live!
You never ever forget - so just find a way to push him aside. Every time he comes in think of Johnny Depp..naked instead or similar...
Star.x.
...............................
|
