A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are generally very open with eachother about our fantasies. They usually just come out during intimacy. Lately, however, I've been having a fantasy that I want to be a bit more subtle when I tell her about it. My new fantasies have evolved her older sister. I don't just want to blurt that out. I don't even find her attractive, it's just cause she's her sister really. I really want to tell her, because I don't keep anything from my wife.Can you help me figure out a way to tell her where she might not get upset, and she'll know I'm not actually attracted to her sister?Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 November 2016):
 There is absolutely no best way to tell someone you're having sexual fantasies about her sister. Once that information is out there, it's out there.
Just like there's no best way to tell a man you think he has a small penis.
Iis part of your fantasy humiliating your wife? Persisting in telling her suggests that might be part of why you feel compelled to do something that will alter how she views you forever.
Some things can't be unheard or forgotten.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2016): I appreciate everyone's input sofar, and I will definitely take your advice into consideration.
I would also like to hear some ideas on how I can tell my wife if I decide to.
For example, how would you want your SO to tell you about an unusual, and possibly inappropriate fantasy?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2016): I appreciate all of your answers, and will take them into consideration.
However, I would also like to hear some ideas, if anyone has any. If you SO was gonna tell you about an iffy fantasy, what would be the best way for them to do it?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2016):
 I don't think you should share that particular fantasy either. NOTING good can come from it.
It's great that you two are so open, but OVERSHARING? not going to help your marriage.
There is no way your sister will be HAPPY about this and there is NO WAY this will not drive a wedge in between YOU and your wife and HER and her sister. Mark my words.
I've had plenty of fantasies that I have shared with my husband and plenty that I didn't. The ones I didn't SHARE were the ones that I had NO inclination of ever living out in reality and the ones I shared were the ones that were a possibility.
Come on now, USE some common sense.
Just like we aren't always in charge of out dreams, the same can go for fantasies. They are snippets of life that your brain is working through. Now if you SPECIFICALLY think if the sister for this fantasy - maybe you should "swap" out the sister with your wife. THEN you can share.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (5 November 2016):
 One word: DON'T.
However you phrase it, your wife is bound to have niggling doubts about you feeling attracted to her sister.
For your wife's peace of mind, find someone else to fantasize about, like some cute celebrity (there must be a few of them you could insert into your fantasies). Otherwise your next post on here will be how much you regret sharing this information with your wife and how hurt she is.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 November 2016):
 I can't think of a single positive outcome that would come from telling your wife about this. As long as you don't act upon it then there's no problem.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (5 November 2016):
 Why on earth...this serves no purpose. Some things need to be unsaid- this will bring on some bad juju.
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A
male
reader, mmj  +, writes (5 November 2016):
 This is an odd thing to relate to your wife even in the most open relationships. In terms of open communication it ranks with sharing the frequency and consistency of your bowel movements. Does she really want to know that? Why botherr? However, if you must you can talk about it discuss it in the context of all your other strange/crazy fantacies and say: "I can't believe I'm thinking about that my brain is soooo crazy..." Once I had a dream that a hamburger was trying to eat me!!!!
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