A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this isn't a relationship question but I'd really like some outside opinions on this problem. I am currently attending university, studying criminology and going into my 3rd year. However back when I started 1st year I had started to play my guitar a lot more in order to get my mind off being homesick (I had been playing for about 2 years prior to my 1st year) and absolutely fell in love with it because it just made me feel happy and energized especially when playing a heavy metal song or a really slow melodic solo. Anyway I figured it may have just been a temporary phase that would slowly fade away as I started to feel more comfortable at university and didn't need to play to feel good, but I was wrong, if anything my love for the guitar got stronger. Now in my 3rd year I still feel the same way and have decided that I want to seriously pursue playing guitar as a career after I finish my criminology program (so that I have a degree to fall back on if the music career doesn't work out) but here is my problem. My parents see the guitar as merely a hobby and not as a career path. Also in a few weeks I am going to Boston with my family for a weekend and am looking to get a tour of Berklee college of music because that is where I hope to go after university. So here is my question: How can I tell my parents that after I finish university I want to pursue a career in playing guitar and that I want to take a year off and take serious guitar lessons in order to improve my chances of being accepted to Berklee? Any help is appreciated Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): My natural ability as long as I can remember was painting AND drawing. I was so into it at a young age that I could spend hours doing heaps AND heaps of them. I was never short of inspiration. Unfortunately my dad saw this as a waste of time AND often scolded me for not doing useful things like reading or doing math. Because of that I grew up feeling guilty when my father catches me drawing even though I was good at it and loved doing it. Because of my fathers attitude towards my talent AND passion, I eventually lost inspiration to be what I was destined to be, an artist. When it was time for me to graduate from senior highschool, I wanted to pursue fine art. It was my desire to live a life of giving people pleasure, happiness, conciousness, Love, AND inspiration through my artworks. But I knew my dad would never support it because he will consider this throwing my life away.. I ended up becoming an architect. This was my way of trying to do something that was related to my passion AND get the support of my father. I enjoy being an architect but still, it is not the same as being an artist. Being an artist is not about meeting deadlines AND making money. The material life never appealed to me. I allowed myself to be forced into it. I wish I had a father who nurtured my artistic disposition instead of trying to suppress it completely. You don't have to go down the road of compromize which I did. No matter what your parents think you should become in life, you must know that it is your life. Also a life well lived always comes at a price. The question is whether you are willing to make that sacrifice.
A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Oh man, I wish I had a son like you! I've been a semi-pro guitarist on and off for years. I did the marriage/ family thing, forsaking a life of rock & roll. Then decided I was too old to return to my first love - oh how wrong was I?!
Well, it's probably easier since I'm divorced (have been for many years) and now I'm living in China, have got myself a little band together playing local bars doing 60s - 70s rock covers, to the delight of the locals! That's apart from my dayjob.
So I fully understand your love affair with the guitar. Take the lessons in your gap year, then, as safc1890 says, impress the hell out of your parents! Just DO it! You'll regret it forever if you don't.
As you say yourself, you've proved yourself in one sphere by getting your degree, which you can count on should the musical path not work out.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): Oh but it IS a relationship question. You know what you have to do but you are considering your relationship with your parents. Many people take a year off work after a 1st degree to do a one-year diploma. Why should studying a musical instrument be any different from that? Do they know how good you are? What music do they like? Try performing for them and put on your best effort.
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